The Legend of the Kitty Pirate (Single)

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Josh Zills

10:11

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Yeah I lost my leg, I've gotta get Around with a cane
And I know that's super lame
But the story is insane
See, I'm a kitty pirate
Well, was
After this day of dismay
I cannot describe the way
That I felt
My crew and I were sailing the seven Seas
When an enemy ship
Pin-pointed my knee
They fired their canons and with a Clean-ass hit
They took off my leg and that's...
Pretty much it

Hold on I'm getting a phone call
It's from the time travelers
Why are they calling me?
I guess I have to disburse

We're calling you because you Haven't a clue
How little poon your story's gonna Get you
But we're here to help
To the portal we delve
Now get your ass in here before you Get your noodle un-held
What if I don't wanna go?
I have so much PTSD
Don't even worry about that homie,
Leave that shit straight to me

Now I don't have
PTSD
I guess
We'll get the story clean

Oh my god wait is it taking my
Spine?
Oh my god IT'S TAKING MY SPINE!
AGGGGGHHHHHH!

I'm sitting here defenseless
No one's coming for me
Why did I trust those guys
Immediately?
How'd they even get my phone Number?
Well, I guess they are time travelers
Which basically means they can do Anything
We are here to help you
We're from the constitution
Of time traveling kitties
What rhymes with kitties?
Our record checker
Noticed a wreck
In our systems
For kitties wanting to get erect
That's great but I'm missing my spine
What do we look like doctors? (HA!)
We're proctors of time

Follow us through space and time
If you do, you'll be just fine!
Do I even have a choice?
NO! Now shut up we are getting Girls moist
Passing by a black hole
And sailing the galaxy
Really makes me question why I Stopped sailing the sea
Then I remembered my knee
And it all came back to me

We are in so much trouble
We just fractured time
For this little nitwit who broke his Spine
And he's gay

WE WERE JUST TRYING TO GET THIS MAN'S DICK SUCKED
BUT IF THE TIME KITTY FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS WE WILL BE FUCKED
So just don't tell him, what do you Want me to do?
Good point

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