Alice's Restaurant

Arlo Guthrie

3 fans

Arlo Guthrie

Arlo Davy Guthrie (born July 10, 1947) is an American folk singer. Like his late father, Woody Guthrie, Arlo is known for singing songs of protest against social injustice. One of Guthrie's better-known works is "Alice's Restaurant Massacree", a satirical talking blues song about 18 minutes in length. more »


Year:
2003
21,232 
#11

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You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant
Walk right in, it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant

This song is called "Alice's Restaurant
"It's about Alice, and the 
Restaurant, but "Alice's Restaurant" is not the name of the restaurant,
That's just the name of the song
That's why I call the song "Alice's Restaurant."

Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, two years ago, on Thanksgiving, 
When my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the restaurant

But Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives in the church nearby the 
Restaurant, in the bell tower with her husband Ray and Facha, the dog

And livin' in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of room downstairs 
Where the pews used to be, and havin' all that room (seein' as how they took 
Out all the pews), they decided that they didn't have to take out their 
Garbage for a long time.

We got up here and found all the garbage in there and we decided that it'd 
Be a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump

So we took the half-a-ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW 
Microbus, took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction, and headed 
On toward the city dump. Well, we got there and there was a big sign and a 
Chain across the dump sayin', "this dump is closed on Thanksgiving," and 
We'd never heard of a dump closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in 
Our eyes, we drove off into the sunset lookin' for another place to put the garbage

We didn't find one till we came to a side road, and off the side of the side 
Road was another fifteen-foot cliff, and at the bottom of the cliff was 
Another pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile was better than 
Two little piles, and rather than bring that one up, we decided to throw 
Ours down. That's what we did

Drove back to the church, had a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat, 
Went to sleep, and didn't get up until the next morning, when we got a phone 
Call from Officer Obie. He said, "kid, we found your name on a envelope at 
The bottom of a half a ton of garbage and I just wanted to know if you had 
Any information about it"

And I said, "yes sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie. I put that envelope 
Under that garbage." After speakin' to Obie for about forty-five minutes on 
The telephone, we finally arrived at the truth of the matter and he said 
That we had to go down and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and 
Speak to him at the Police Officer Station. So we got in the red VW microbus 
With the shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on 
Toward the Police Officer Station

Now, friends, there was only one of two things that Obie could've done at 
The Police Officer Station, and the first was that he could've given us a 
Medal for bein' so brave and honest on the telephone (which wasn't very 
Likely, and we didn't expect it), and the other thing was that he could've 
Bawled us out and told us never to be seen drivin' garbage around in the 
Vicinity again, which is what we expected

But when we got to the Police Officer Station, there was a third possibility 
That we hadn't even counted upon, and we was both immediately arrested, 
Handcuffed, and I said, "Obie, I can't pick up the garbage with these here 
Handcuffs on." He said "shut up kid, and get in the back of the patrol car"

And that's what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car, and drove to 
The quote scene of the crime unquote

I want to tell you 'bout the town of Stockbridge, Massachusetts, where this is 
Happenin'. They got three stop signs, two police officers, and one police 
Car, but when we got to the scene of the crime, there was five police 
Officers and three police cars, bein' the biggest crime of the last fifty 
Years and everybody wanted to get in the newspaper story about it

And they was usin' up all kinds of cop equipment that they had hangin' 
Around the Police Officer Station. They was takin' plaster tire tracks, 
Footprints, dog-smellin' prints and they took twenty-seven 8 x 10 colored 
Glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of 
Each one explainin' what each one was, to be used as evidence against us
Took pictures of the approach, the getaway, the northwest corner, the 
Southwest corner
And that's not to mention the aerial photography!

After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was gonna put us in a cell

He said "kid, I'm gonna put you in a cell
I want your wallet and your belt"
I said, "Obie, I can understand your wantin' my wallet, so I don't have any 
Money to spend in the cell, but what do you want my belt for?" and he said
"Kid, we don't want any hangin's
I said, "Obie, did you think I was gonna 
Hang myself for litterin'?"

Obie said he was makin' sure, and, friends, Obie was, 'cause he took out the 
Toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he took 
Out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars, roll the toilet paper out 
The window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obie was makin' sure

It was about four or five hours later that Alice (remember Alice? 
There's a song about Alice)
Alice came by and, with a few nasty words to Obie on the 
Side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back to the church, had another 
Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat, and didn't get up until the next 
Morning, when we all had to go to court. We walked in, sat down, Obie came 
In with the twenty-seven 8 times 10 colored glossy pictures with the circles and 
Arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, sat down

Man came in, said, "All rise!" We all stood up, and Obie stood up with the 
Twenty-seven 8 times 10 colored glossy pictures, and the judge walked in, sat 
Down, with a seein' eye dog and he sat down. We sat down

Obie looked at the seein' eye dog then at the twenty-seven 8 x 10 
Colored glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the 
Back of each one and looked at the seein' eye dog and then at 
The twenty-seven 8 x 10 colored glossy pictures with the circles and arrows 
And a paragraph on the back of each on and began to cry

Because Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American 
Blind justice, and there wasn't nothin' he could do about it, and the judge 
Wasn't gonna look at the twenty-seven 8 by 10 colored glossy pictures with 
The circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explainin' 
What each one was, to be used as evidence against us

And we was fined fifty dollars and had to pick up the garbage in the snow

But that's not what I'm here to tell you about
I'm here to talk about the draft
They got a buildin' down in New York City called Whitehall Street, where you 
Walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected!

I went down and got my physical examination one day, and I walked in, sat 
Down (got good and drunk the night before, so I looked and felt my best when 
I went in that morning, 'cause I wanted to look like the All-American Kid 
From New York City. I wanted to feel like I wanted to be the 
All-american Kid from New York), and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down
Brung down, hung up and all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly things

And I walked in, I sat down, they gave me a piece of paper that said "Kid
See the psychiatrist in room 604"

I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I want to kill! I want to see 
Blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth! Eat dead, burnt bodies! I 
Mean Kill. Kill!"

And I started jumpin' up and down, yellin' "KILL! Kill!" and he started 
Jumpin' up and down with me, and we was both jumpin' up and down, yellin' 
"Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!" and the sergeant came over, pinned

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Written by: ARLO GUTHRIE

Lyrics © CONCORD MUSIC PUBLISHING LLC

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

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