Right, Said Fred

Bernard CribbinsBernard Cribbins 

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Bernard Cribbins

Bernard Joseph Cribbins, OBE (born 29 December 1928) is an English character actor, voice-over artist and musical comedian with a career spanning over seventy years. He came to prominence in films of the 1960s, and has been in work consistently since his professional debut in the mid-1950s. Cribbins narrated The Wombles, a BBC children's television programme that ran for 60 episodes between 1973 and 1975, and played the pretentious guest Mr. Hutchinson in "The Hotel Inspectors" episode of Fawlty Towers (1975), and the belligerent barman in Alfred Hitchcock's Frenzy (1972). He also recorded several successful novelty records in the early 1960s and was a regular and prolific performer on the BBC's Jackanory from 1966 to 1991. Having appeared as Tom Campbell, a … more »

Year:

2013

2:21

86 Views

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"Right," said Fred, "Both of us together 
One each end and steady as we go." 
Tried to shift it, couldn't even lift it 
We was getting nowhere 
And so we had a cuppa tea and

"Right," said Fred, "Give a shout for Charlie." 
Up comes Charlie from the floor below. 
After strainin', heavin' and complainin' 
We was getting nowhere 
And so we had a cuppa tea.

And Charlie had a think, and he thought we ought to take off all the handles 
And the things wot held the candles. 
But it did no good, well I never thought it would

"All right," said Fred, "Have to take the feet off 
To get them feet off wouldn't take a mo." 
Took its feet off, even took the seat off 
Should have got us somewhere but no! 
So Fred said, "Let's have another cuppa tea." 
And we said, "right-o." 

"Right," said Fred, "Have to take the door off 
Need more space to shift the so-and-so."
Had bad twinges taking off the hinges 
And it got us nowhere 
And so we had a cuppa tea and 

"Right," said Fred, "Have to take the wall down, 
That there wall is gonna have to go." 
Took the wall down, even with it all down 
We was getting nowhere 
And so we had a cuppa tea.

And Charlie had a think, and he said, "Look, Fred, 
I got a sort of feelin' 
If we remove the ceiling
With a rope or two we could drop the blighter through."

"All right," said Fred, climbing up a ladder 
With his crowbar gave a mighty blow. 
Was he in trouble, half a ton of rubble landed on the top of his dome. 
So Charlie and me had another cuppa tea 
And then we went home. 

(I said to Charlie, "We'll just have to leave it 
Standing on the landing, that's all 
You see the trouble with Fred is, he's too hasty 
You'll never get nowhere if you're too hasty.")

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