Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire

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Bob Rivers

Bob Rivers is an American rock and roll radio on-air personality in the Pacific Northwest, as well as a prolific producer of parody songs, most famous for his Christmas song parodies. more »

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Chipmunks roasting on an open fire 
Hot sauce dripping from their toes 
(â??Oh! That tickles!â??) 
Yuletide squirrels fresh filleted by the choir 
They poked hot skewers through their nose 
(â??Ow! Wrong end, ya cowboy!â??) 
Everybody knows some pepper and a garlic clove 
Help to make them seasoned right 
Tiny rats with a crisp golden coat 
Will really hit the spot tonight 

And now when Santa sees his tray 
(â??Ho ho ho ho ho hoâ??) 
There'll be some homemade chipmunk jerky for his sleigh 
(â??Mmmmâ?¦Hey, look at that!â??) 
And every hungry child is gonna spy 
To see if chipmunks really sing when they fry 
And so I'm brushing on some honey glaze 
To keep them crisp and juicy too 
Let's hope they get served many times many ways 
Tasty Chipmunks; good food 

â??On that, Mr. Cole, â?? 
â??Yes, sir, Mr. Seville?â?? 
â??Would you mind handing me the barbeque sauce? I am starved!â?? 
â??Oh,no problem Dave. Hey listen, you best be havin' two of those drumsticks, because they're oh-so tiny and there ain't much meat upon â??emâ?? 
(â??What about animal rights, Dave?â??) 
â??Put a sock in it Melvinâ?? 
â??You know, for years people said you over-rated hamsters were my meal ticket. Now I guess you could just say you're my meal!â?? 
â??That's a good one, Daveâ?¦I always knew you was the funny one in the group!â?? 
â??Damn straight!â?? 

And so I'm offering some recipes 
From chipmunk pie to chipmunk stew 
I'm not really sad that it ended this way 
Furry chipmunks screw you 

â??Did you hear that Melvin? Melvin? Mellllviiiiin?" 
â??Why, I'm sorry Dave, did you want Melvin? There's plenty of Thagadore left thoughâ?¦â??

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