I Haven't Been Myself

John ReubenJohn Reuben 

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John Reuben

John Reuben (born John Reuben Zappin January 14, 1979, Columbus, Ohio) is an American hip hop artist signed to Gotee Records until late 2010. Reuben has sold over 200,000 copies of his first four albums. He released his sixth album, Sex, Drugs and Self-Control on December 22, 2009. The album was nominated for a Dove Award for Rap/Hip-Hop Album of the Year at the 42nd GMA Dove Awards, while the song "No Be Nah" was nominated for Rap/Hip-Hop Recorded Song of the Year. more »

Year:

2003

3:43

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I'm not alright, I haven't been myself lately
I'm not okay with the way I've let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I'm not here for long
I'll see you when I'm better
I'll see you when I'm better

It's gotta get worse to get better
It went from no way, never to okay, whatever
Slowly but surely and sure as sure is blurry
Now things that once were me are no longer
Every so often God reminds me
But I'm always there in front to blind me
I value my pride more than peace of mind
My precious pride
There was a time when I had control but I let it go
I watched the world passin' slow-mo
My life's ahead of me
I can't catch up
Stuck in a rut
I went too willingly
These thoughts are killing me
I wish I could control myself but I can't
Or can I?
Man I'm gone
I hope I'm not here for long
It's just a visit
Ashamed of who I've become
It's not really me
Or is it?

I'm not alright, I haven't been myself lately
I'm not okay with the way I've let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I'm not here for long
I'll see you when I'm better

Thoughts lead to emotion which led to action
I hate the fact that it happened
The Lord can forgive and forget
But I'm not able to do it
Maybe there is where the problem lies
I'm unable to forgive myself plus I'm too proud to ask for help
Whelp, sorry for who I've become
I guess circumstances can leave you numb
Plus, I refused accountability
It seemed like such small things you found in me
I called you secluded and alluded to the fact that your concerns were silly
Don't over-react
Now looking back in hindsight, huh
I'm able to see that you were right
Is it too late for me?
I know it's not
It's just up to me to choose to stop

I'm not alright, I haven't been myself lately
I'm not okay with the way I've let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I'm not here for long
I'll see you when I'm better

I'm not alright, I haven't been myself lately
I'm not okay with the way I've let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I'm not here for long
Better
I'll see you when I'm better

I'm not alright, I haven't been myself lately
I'm not okay with the way I've let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I'm not here for long

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