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Invented here in England on these green plains
Some people say Rugby is best
I’ll head to Brazil, you stay in Skegness
You better hope your scrum half feels
a scrum-half
And I played on the wing
After the game Koos manned the bar
And I’d play guitar and sing

They said you’re going in
The Guinness Book of Records
For
having time off from her job. She's a scaffolder
Cos at the weekend playing rugby, she dislocated her shoulder

You're having a laugh. Gary plays scrum
time off from her job. She’s a scaffolder
Cos at the weekend playing rugby, she dislocated her shoulder	    
You’re having a laugh Gary plays scrum half
If I were the marrying kind,
Which thank the Lord I'm not, sir,
The kind of man that I would wed,
Would be a rugby scrum half.

He'd put it in, I'd put

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