Song parody of
Halfway to Heaven
by Harry Chapin
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There's no tick tock on your electric clock
But still your life runs down.
There's no tick tock on your electric clock
But still your life runs down.
I'm halfway to heaven and my home in Forest Hills
It's half past eleven and I've got some time to kill.
I missed my bus connection my train got in too late
And I'm forced into reflection by this half hour wait.
Now I have been a straight man and I've played it by the rules
I been a good man, a good husband, a good old fashioned fool.
I have a fine wife and two children just like everybody's got
But after fifteen years of marriage the fires don't burn too hot.
Ahh someone played a trick on me.
They set me up so perfectly
They Gave me their morality
And then changed the rules they set for me.
Someone must be laughing now,
Though it don't seem funny somehow,
How the world's accepting now
What they once would not allow
Back in my younger days.
The world has changed in so many ways.
My mother once said to me so many years ago now
Don't you touch those bad girls, so I never had girls
Until I had my Mary when we married.
My Mary then had my two sons
My life as a lover was already done
It was over before it had really begun.
Ahh someone played a trick on me.
They sent this little girl to me,
She is my new secretary
And she's something to see.
yeah She's a nice girl, but it's a young world
And she lives her life so free, and she sure gets through to me
She brings her pad into my office, she wears a sweater and a skirt
And somewhere deep inside of me something starts to hurt.
She's wearing nothing underneath, and I can see what's there to see
She smiles and says, "You wanted me?" I'd have to agree.
You know how much I want her,
And I know that I could have her.
I know I could, I know she would
Make love to me, so wonderfully.
God damn, I'm one crazy mixed up mixture of a man.
In my head all my life I've been a sinner,
And in my bed with just my wife I'm still a beginner,
But tomorrow night I'm taking that little girl out to dinner!
There's no tick tock on your electric clock
But still your life runs down.
There's no tick tock on your electric clock
But still your life runs down.
There's no tick tock on your electric clock
But still your life runs down.
I'm halfway to heaven and my home in Forest Hills
It's half past eleven and I've got some time to kill.
I missed my bus connection my train got in too late
And I'm forced into reflection by this half hour wait.
Now I have been a straight man and I've played it by the rules
I been a good man, a good husband, a good old fashioned fool.
I have a fine wife and two children just like everybody's got
But after fifteen years of marriage the fires don't burn too hot.
Ahh someone played a trick on me.
They set me up so perfectly
They Gave me their morality
And then changed the rules they set for me.
Someone must be laughing now,
Though it don't seem funny somehow,
How the world's accepting now
What they once would not allow
Back in my younger days.
The world has changed in so many ways.
My mother once said to me so many years ago now
Don't you touch those bad girls, so I never had girls
Until I had my Mary when we married.
My Mary then had my two sons
My life as a lover was already done
It was over before it had really begun.
Ahh someone played a trick on me.
They sent this little girl to me,
She is my new secretary
And she's something to see.
yeah She's a nice girl, but it's a young world
And she lives her life so free, and she sure gets through to me
She brings her pad into my office, she wears a sweater and a skirt
And somewhere deep inside of me something starts to hurt.
She's wearing nothing underneath, and I can see what's there to see
She smiles and says, "You wanted me?" I'd have to agree.
You know how much I want her,
And I know that I could have her.
I know I could, I know she would
Make love to me, so wonderfully.
God damn, I'm one crazy mixed up mixture of a man.
In my head all my life I've been a sinner,
And in my bed with just my wife I'm still a beginner,
But tomorrow night I'm taking that little girl out to dinner!
There's no tick tock on your electric clock
But still your life runs down.
