I Ain't Been Anywhere

I was sittin' at home just a-listenin' to my radio An' along came a fella who apparently had been on the go Well, he started in a-braggin' 'bout ev'rywhere he'd been And there isn't any place in this whole world he hasn't seen You ask me where I've been, an' I'm a-going to tell you, Pard Why, I ain't even been outside the gate in my backyard I ain't been anywhere, Joe I ain't been anywhere, Joe I didn't want to go, so I guess I'll never know, Joe An old stick in the mud, Bud I ain't been anywhere I ain't seen London, Paris, Washington, Chicago, Bombay, Mandalay, Calgary, Cashmere, Thailand, Ireland, Iceland, Greenland, Halifax, Poland, Switzerland, Scotland, Liverpool, Dry Gulch, Tombstone, Moscow, Carlsbad, Leningrad, Stalingrad, too bad! I ain't been anywhere, Joe I ain't been anywhere, Joe I didn't want to go, so I guess I'll never know, Joe An old stick in the mud, Bud I ain't been anywhere Siam, Amsterdam, Oslo, Rotterdam, Birmingham, Tokyo, Melbourne, Saigon, Trinidad, Hong Kong, Florida, Reykjavik, Copenhagen, Berlin, Congo, Key West, Petersburg, Wallisburg, Cherbourg, Luxemburg, Chalush, Toronto, Cripple Creek, I am sick! I ain't been anywhere, Joe I ain't been anywhere, Joe I didn't want to go, so I guess I'll never know, Joe An old stick in the mud, Bud I ain't been anywhere Kumquat, Limerick, Inverness, Loch Ness, Swansea, Cuanda, Colombo, Gold Coast, Edinburgh, Singapore, Galveston, Okinawa, Blarney, Killarney, Karachi, Pyongyang, Warsaw, Tarancan, Down, Libya, Goose Bay, Labrador, Outer Space, no place! I ain't been anywhere, Joe I ain't been anywhere, Joe I didn't want to go, so I guess I'll never know, Joe An old stick in the mud, Bud I ain't been anywhere Ohio, Toledo, Wexford, Frankfurt, Silverton, Norfolk, Alamo, Sabula, Brighton, Kiowa, Denmark, Dover, Chalis, Rio, Lima, Philippines, Hebrides, Hawaii, Portland, Cleveland, Leipzig, Laramie, Horsehair, nowhere! I ain't been anywhere, Joe I ain't been anywhere, Joe I didn't want to go, so I guess I'll never know, Joe An old stick in the mud, Bud I ain't been anywhere Wait a minute! Horsehair! Why, doggone it, that's my hometown So I guess I must 'a' been there, huh? I ain't been anywhere!