Breathin' to Death

It's like I'm tired of life Lord I'm wrong, why I can't get right? And when it's dark, why it can't get light? Why it can't be light? It's so heavy, why my sin won't let me see the end? Come get me! Please come get me! My thoughts, my mind, my ways all evil I'm s'posed to be Your people, I'm s'posed to see Your sequel I said I'd never leave You But I'm so left, I ain't right Lord, I'm sleeping with death Man, I'm cheating with death Am I deaf? It's like I don't hear You I say that I'm a Christian, but it's like I don't fear You I'm on a selfish island and I am nowhere near You God, I really need You even though I don't appear to I'm drinking out a broken cistern that could never hold water and I'm gonna get burned Though I try, I never satisfy to quench this yearn I hear You calling, but it's like a fight for me to just turn Lord, I deserve to burn I'm feeling schizophrenic Maybe I ain't saved, 'cause I gotta get high just to block out all the pain Seen death, seen hurt, seen a whole lot of things But instead of running from it I'm running away from change It's like I'm outside in the ice cold weather The rain's coming down, I keep getting wetter I know I'm getting sick and I could die any second But still I refuse to let Your truths make me better I'd rather eat flies and maggots instead of bread And it's killing me slow, but I can't get it through my head You were stabbed, You were murdered And for me is why You bled But I spit on your bloody face as if I never cared Lord, how dare I compare my pain? Your father turned his back And You were left to hang I don't know why You did it, that I can't explain How can You love this sinner who's desecrated your name? Lord, I deserve the flames I know I tell lies I know I do dirt Apart from You, I'm nothing, but You can give me worth I don't know if I know You But still I know I should I know these days are evil and only You are good I've come to this conclusion that I would like to change 'cause all the world's money and fame cannot sustain I know that I should turn but that's the hardest thing Cause do I really feel that having Jesus is a gain? The world is so tempting Satan is a beast He hypnotizes my eyes to say the least But Jesus be my treasure! To know You is to live And I am here dying, trying everything there is All I need here is You Help me turn 'way from sin Lord, give me grace to turn away and the fear to not give in I know that I'm not perfect but I could rest in Him I know I don't deserve it but still I take your hand Lord, let me take Your hand Help me Lord before there's no time left I ain't living I'm just breathing to death Your ways are perfect and they lead me to rest Mine are evil and they lead me to death