Pet Names

Just when I thought everything would be OK Just when I started to believe that everything was goin' my way Out came the cloud from under my feet Crashing back down to reality... You used to call me pumpkin now I'm Halloween Remember when I used to be your jellybean? You used to call me snookums and shit like that Now you're after me with a baseball bat I remember when I used to be the king Your honey sweety doll and baby everything I used to be your tall dark mystery man Now I'm just straight-up history, man Just when I thought everything would be alright Just when I started to believe that everything was out of sight You left me with nothing but a scribbled note That said I would no longer be your loveboat From here on out my pet name would be ex Your ex It used to be sugar then it turned into salt I used to rock your world now I'm standing on a fault line Lying naked in a hailstorm in the dark You're my little tornado and I am your trailer park You used to call me names too cute to repeat Like Honeybunch, Hairy Bear and Piccolo Pete Goochy goochy goo gaga shit like that Now you're after me screaming "You dirty rat!" I don't remember applying for a name change So why is it your calling me Mr. Deranged? Psychopathic pornographic stinking drunk Failing fast lying ass worthless punk You used to call me sweety pie and baby doll I guess another studs kicking in my stall You'll probably call him Superman or loverboy You'll probably disregard him like a broken toy Just when he thought everything would be OK Just when he started to believe that everything was hunky-dory He'll look at that cloud that he's standing on And with an itsy bitsy teeny little almost inaudible squeak, he'll notice it's gone From here on out his pet name will be ex, your ex Sweetie pie? No, Ex! Honeybunch? No, Ex! Bubble butt? No, Ex! Pumpkin face? Ex!