Song parody of
A More Perfect Union
by Titus Andronicus
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"Are we ready to go?"
"From whence shall we expect the approach of danger?
Shall some transatlantic giant step the earth and crush us at a blow?
Never! All the armies of Europe and Asia could not, by force
Take a drink from the Ohio River
Or set a track on the Blue Ridge in the trial of a thousand years
If destruction be our lot, we ourselves must be its author and finisher
As a nation of free men, we will live forever, or die by suicide"
There'll be no more counting the cars on the Garden State Parkway
Nor waiting for the Fung Wah bus to carry me to who-knows-where
And when I stand tonight, 'neath the lights of the Fenway
Will I not yell like hell for the glory of the Newark Bears?
Because where I'm going to now, no one can ever hurt me
Where the well of human hatred is shallow and dry
No, I never wanted to change the world, but I'm looking for a new New Jersey
Because tramps like us, baby, we were born to die
I'm doing 70 on 17, I'm doing 80 over 84
And I never let the Meritt Parkway magnetize me no more
Give me a brutal Somerville summer
Give me a cruel New England winter
Give me the great Pine Barrens
So I can see them turned into splinters
'Cause if I come in on a donkey, let me go out on a gurney
I want to realize too late I never should have left New Jersey
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh
La da da da da da da da da da da, yeah! Yeah!
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh
I sense the enemy, they're rustling around in the trees
I thought I had gotten away but they followed me to 02143
Woe, oh woe is me, no one knows the trouble I see
When they hang Jeff Davis from a sourapple tree
I'll sit beneath the leaves and weep
None of us shall be saved, every man will be a slave
For John Brown's body lies a'mouldring in the grave and there's rumblings down in the caves
So if it's time for choosing sides, and to show this dirty city how we do the Jersey Slide
And if they deserve a better class of criminal, then I'm'a give it to them tonight
So we'll rally around the flag, rally around the flag
Rally around the flag, boys, rally once again, shouting the Battle Cry of Freedom
Rally around the flag, rally around the flag
Glory, glory, Hallelujah, His truth is marching on
"I will be as harsh as truth and as uncompromising as justice
On this subject, I do not wish to think, or speak, or write with moderation
I am in earnest
I will not equivocate, I will not excuse
I will not retreat a single inch, and I will be heard"
"Are we ready to go?"
"From whence shall we expect the approach of danger?
Shall some transatlantic giant step the earth and crush us at a blow?
Never! All the armies of Europe and Asia could not, by force
Take a drink from the Ohio River
Or set a track on the Blue Ridge in the trial of a thousand years
If destruction be our lot, we ourselves must be its author and finisher
As a nation of free men, we will live forever, or die by suicide"
There'll be no more counting the cars on the Garden State Parkway
Nor waiting for the Fung Wah bus to carry me to who-knows-where
And when I stand tonight, 'neath the lights of the Fenway
Will I not yell like hell for the glory of the Newark Bears?
Because where I'm going to now, no one can ever hurt me
Where the well of human hatred is shallow and dry
No, I never wanted to change the world, but I'm looking for a new New Jersey
Because tramps like us, baby, we were born to die
I'm doing 70 on 17, I'm doing 80 over 84
And I never let the Meritt Parkway magnetize me no more
Give me a brutal Somerville summer
Give me a cruel New England winter
Give me the great Pine Barrens
So I can see them turned into splinters
'Cause if I come in on a donkey, let me go out on a gurney
I want to realize too late I never should have left New Jersey
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh
La da da da da da da da da da da, yeah! Yeah!
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh
I sense the enemy, they're rustling around in the trees
I thought I had gotten away but they followed me to 02143
Woe, oh woe is me, no one knows the trouble I see
When they hang Jeff Davis from a sourapple tree
I'll sit beneath the leaves and weep
None of us shall be saved, every man will be a slave
For John Brown's body lies a'mouldring in the grave and there's rumblings down in the caves
So if it's time for choosing sides, and to show this dirty city how we do the Jersey Slide
And if they deserve a better class of criminal, then I'm'a give it to them tonight
So we'll rally around the flag, rally around the flag
Rally around the flag, boys, rally once again, shouting the Battle Cry of Freedom
Rally around the flag, rally around the flag
Glory, glory, Hallelujah, His truth is marching on
"I will be as harsh as truth and as uncompromising as justice
On this subject, I do not wish to think, or speak, or write with moderation
I am in earnest
I will not equivocate, I will not excuse
I will not retreat a single inch, and I will be heard"
