Sinner Pt. 4

I write this song as this gun is in my hand loaded Tears rollin' down my face, feel so damn hopeless Wonder would my mom miss me? Would my dad notice? 'Cause this pressure's gettin' heavy and I can't hold it No faith in people's loyalty, they damn motives So I bottle all my issues 'til I drown chokin' Lord, I know it's been a while since we've last spoken I just hope You forgive me for the path chosen All this pain inside my heart, I had the drugs numb it Rather die by my own hands and run from it In the shadows, now the snakes are movin' all around Gave 'em all my love to find out nothin' really comes from it (comes from it) I see I'm the villain they painted I try to understand why they hurtin', they hatin' me "The good die young," now that's a hell of a statement Because the sinner does too, how the fuck can you play me? Look If I look inside the mirror, I'm an empty shell 'Cause my soul been broken if you couldn't tell All the ones I gave my love left me dyin' Abandoned, feelin' cold, if you look closely, it's really Hell Every time I close my eyes, I see my death A bullet to my head or a rope around my neck Or maybe it's the way that I've been treated World is evil, all those traumas cuttin' deep like a knife inside my chest, but You wouldn't understand if I explained it to you You couldn't see the picture that I painted for you My blood is in these brush strokes, truly All these trust issues from the way these people use me I hear the Devil dancin' in my mind now My heart's empty and I don't know how to cry now They'll never know what I feel inside There's nowhere for me to hide And I'm just not scared to die now Still see the pain in my eyes, but sometimes I don't feel alive, yeah And now the tears don't fall 'cause the sinners don't cry (sinners don't cry) Still see the pain in my eyes, but sometimes I don't feel alive, yeah And now the tears don't fall 'cause the sinners don't cry (sinners don't cry) Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh And now the tears don't fall 'cause the sinners don't cry (sinners don't cry) Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh And now the tears don't fall 'cause the sinners don't cry Yeah, trust get you killed, love get you hurt Bein' real get you hated, tell me what it's worth Pain in my heart, blood on my shirt When it comes to sufferin', I've been through the worst I haven't seen me in the mirror in like five years Maybe it's just 'cause I'm scared of facin' my fears And people say they love me, but it's quite clear I feel more loved from the people in my nightmares Sick of bein' frowned on, sick of bein' used Sick of bein' stepped on, sick of tryna prove Prove I'm good enough, but I just never am to you I was born with nothin', tell me, how much can I lose? If you really wanna know me, I'll you the truth I'm a sinner who turned cold from the pain in his youth But my childhood trauma is not an excuse For this alcohol and all of these drugs I abuse The worst part is, I don't even feel numb The person that I am is who you fear that I've become Taste the Devil on the lips and the liquor on the tongue Every time I start to feel okay is when I run And life isn't reality 'til you're alone In a dark room askin' why nowhere is home You called, but I ain't have the heart to pick up the phone The aunts are cryin', tellin' you that I'm already gone I'm tired of waitin' and searchin' for the sun (oh-oh) Why should I keep on hopin' when it's never gonna come It's been midnight my whole life, be mornin' when it's done I stopped believin' in myself and put my faith into this gun and I'll never really know if I could trust again Might be easier for me to take my life instead So I cock back this gun and point it to my head Pull the trigger quick and hope one day I'll get to try again Tears don't fall 'cause the sinners don't cry Still see the pain in my eyes But sometimes I don't feel alive, yeah And now the tears don't fall 'cause the sinners don't cry (sinners don't cry) Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh And now the tears don't fall 'cause the sinners don't cry (sinners don't cry) Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh And now the tears don't fall 'cause the sinners don't cry (sinners don't cry) Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh