Fear

My main purpose painfully nervous now I am scared People playing with my nerves its hurts as I began to wear I'm always trinna internalize, maybe that's why my insides divide I only mess it up when I try my best Why am I the one who messed up your life? Old emotions old notions old thoughts Cold and frozen were all the talks Sitting at the table wasn't stable Hands were shaking wasn't able To defend something that I never claim I always wondered what you were trinna gain? I think about the future me I think about if he's proud of me Or proud the way I been acting maybe he looks down at me I admit I'm cowardly I'm only brave when I begin to write What will I say when I fail my wife God I pray you hold me tonight I scared I'm the only one is going up against my own life I'm scared I'll turn away from God and be dependent on my sight But God I know you are God God I know that I am yours I pray tonight that I never stop Until I die and you bring me home Throat starts to squeeze As I call on my savior Will I call on fear again For another favor Will I stand in front of the master As just another traitor So many things to factor Before I go to meet my maker I cannot begin to fathom What awaits on the other side Maybe because a part of fear Is still inside my mind Has the battle just begun How long until the day I find Out the this wars been won I feel like fear is still inside! I know this life is hard And having fear is understandable But I have to put my trust In God and understand that he'll Bring me through this life Even though this life is not easy I cannot rob God of his glory And use it to please me What happened to the joy and laughter Why do I destroy what matters Why is it that pain always has to be more of a factor I am a rapper Trying to factor The before and the after The first and the latter I am a product of my own disaster Will I ever move on from this chapter? Hold up hold up wait a minute - slow it down I need take a breath take a sec to calm it down Is this hurt or is it passion? Honesty probably both I have passion to get past this because I know wanna grow Well never win tomorrow unless we remember the loss of yesterday The cost of it is sorrow but God I know your next to me I was told that you thought i used you I promise it's not true I promise i thought you Were okay I guess i just thought you And I were in sync but I guess my assumptions brought you To a place that was not intended so I'm sorry that it cost you Fear is now in my mind I feel like I am now fighting blind Why am I always the guy Who triples his problems and cripples his eyes I apologize to those I have hurt My problem lies within my words Sin I will fight until die and my casket closes into buried dirt I pray my life honored Christ and I learn how not to carry hurt I just pray my life honored Christ and I learn how not to carry hurt God please take the fear away Or please take my life today God please I know I'm in pain I pray you see beyond my mistake I know I am the least of these Please cleanse me from my misdeeds I know You know all of my needs Because you are the king kings I cannot begin to fathom What awaits on the other side Maybe because apart of fear Is still inside my mind Has the battle just begun How long until the day I find Out the this wars been won I feel like fear is still inside! I know this life is hard And having fear is understandable But I have to put my trust In God and understand that he'll Bring me through this life Even though this life is not easy I cannot rob God of his glory And use it to please me What happened to the joy and laughter Why do I destroy what matters Why is it that pain always has to be more of a factor I am a rapper Trying to factor The before and the after The first and the latter Am I a product of my own disaster Will ever move on from this chapter? (AAH!) You cannot put a price on someone's innocence Torment can be powerful I mean for instance I have alotta fears - I really fear loneliness Last year I was probably as lonely as lonely gets I'm scared that one day I'll wake up without a life And consequences will finally come back to bite The fact is I am trying to learn to get past this I Wanna settle down, marry, and live a happy life Success is not final and fear is not fatality The courage to continue is what counts in this reality But I know fear is nothing more than state of mind Will I conquer or be conquered I really hate that I Might go in between the two until the day I die But please lemme say that I just wanna do my part I cant wait to get a wife cause I know from the start If life is a deck of cards she will be queen of hearts I know this life is hard And having fear is understandable But I have to put my trust In God and understand that he'll Bring me through this life Even though this life is not easy I cannot rob God of his glory And use it to please me What happened to the joy and laughter Why do I destroy what matters Why is it that pain always has to be more of a factor I am a rapper Trying to factor The before and the after The first and the latter Am I a product of my own disaster Will ever move on from this chapter? (AAH!)