Torn

I'm torn apart please someone help I'm falling apart please somebody help I'm torn by the scars that were given to me I'm torn by the scars I gave someone else I always knew life wouldn't be easy For me, or the guy I just said thank you too And I have never helped anybody Thinking that once I was done a thank you was due I am not torn because of humanity Or what any one person has ever done to me I am torn because who I plan to be and who I am never once come into one you see Maybe I see things in a different light Maybe saying these things isn't right Where did I go wrong what am I missing am I Just explaining this in a twisted sight? Please don't miss what I'm given I Want you to see that Jesus died Yes I know that I am forgiven but why am i? Laying here praying asking God about what is right Or what is wrong when it comes to sovereignty Tell me God how I oughta see Who you are and who I oughta be Am I in the dark or in an odyssey From the start were you not in me Look in my heart I have God in me How do I understand who I am in you If I'm stilling yearning to understand what's true I try to smile more than I cry And every time walk away wiping my eyes Is it suppose to be a never ending fight Or am I over here just living a lie Or is what I'm saying make sense in your brain I wanna make sense of the pain God I am torn apart and confused tell me who you are not peoples doctrinal claim Someone closest to me told me to give the fear to God but truth is if I'm speaking openly Why should I give all I got over to him off of the basis of I'm simply hoping he Answers my prayers honestly all of these questions never cease to continue provoking me I probably should shut up now cause all I'm learning is that once again is that ima broken being I'm torn apart please someone help I'm falling apart please somebody help I'm torn by the scars that were given to me I'm torn by the scars that I gave somebody else I feel like my effort are some peoples biggest fears At least that's how it appears Pretty crazy I told that very thing to someone I still believe in and hold very dear I guess I deserve the hurt the I'm feeling now I preserved my worth into a bank account Only to learn my worth wasn't in the bank amount But whether or not you can learn to lay it down And learn that the worth of a man is not the worth of a man Or whether or he's got working hands But whether or not he can be a godly man and become more than a godly plan To live your life laying it down for another person Praying into the night "God show me the purpose" Hard to slay my enemies when I not a friend of me Hard to not pretend I am more mature than I am My biggest weakness isn't the struggle for meekness I struggle with living for Jesus I feel like I just blow every opportunity And can never quite get to a proper unity Even that's not what I'm trinna do you see All I want to be in life is to be the happy couple But my failures wont ever let that come to pass Maybe I don't understand will I ever get past Being torn left and right constantly be my past Honestly talking about this is just pouring gas I cant go anywhere cause I cant read this map And I cant read the signs Does anything last If I don't become more than I guy No matter how hard I try No matter how far I climb I feel like all I do is recline Always giving a 10 outa 10 Feeling like I'm not worth a dime I pray God forgive me even though I know I'll do it again Once again do it to him Why do I feel like all I ever do is sin Why do I feel like nothings changing Why do I feel like everything's rearranging Last 2 bars aren't the same listen to what I'm saying Is the existence of life magic? Or Is the existence of life tragic? I'm torn apart please someone help I'm falling apart please somebody help I'm torn by the scars that were given to me I'm torn by the scars I gave someone else