When I Die

I don't know what happens when you die I'm just trying to get it while alive Heaven won't you let me in I have gambled everything I can tell you how it's gonna end I'll be counting millions in a bendz I've let go of all my fear I don't need a suvonyier I don't know what happens when you die Heaven won't you let me in Heaven won't you let me in I'm just trying to get it while alive Heaven won't you let me in Heaven won't you let me in Nobody cares about me I fuck up we all do its just called life Ya But there are people who are supposed to be there for us Those people are called family These tears pourin down my face indicate failure Obviously they can't help me get my happiness come back I'm a theft I'm a criminal I'm a no good washed up dead beat white kid trying to become the next rapper I won't be great I'm better off in a grave I don't deserve anything I don't deserve shit I sit here while I speak to you staring at the scars on my wrists I know I'm not the only one who lives like this There are so many like me Who have it worse But I can't keep hiding my sadness all of the god damn time It's not healthy yet I continue to do it I don't know what happens when you die I'm just trying to get it while alive Heaven won't you let me in I have gambled everything I can tell you how it's gonna end I'll be counting millions in a bendz I've let go of all my fear I don't need a suvonyier I don't know what happens when you die Heaven won't you let me in Heaven won't you let me in I'm just trying to get it while alive Heaven won't you let me in Heaven won't you let me in My friends aren't here for me They never were I just want my life to be over Ya I just wanna go I can't handle all of the unknown It's not fair I don't give a shit about starting a motherfuckin' cycle That's all I'm good for I'm only here to make everyone sad I'm only here to make my friends depressed I'm here to waste space I can't pretend I am happy I just can't I just can't do the same old shit I can't pretend to be happy in the life that I'm livin' I can't pretend to be happy with my friends when my friends cause all of this fucking sadness They always make fun of me and never actually get what I'm going though Nobody gets what I'm going through It's so hard to be perfect when I can't be What the fuck happens when you die I don't know what happens when you die I'm just trying to get it while alive Heaven won't you let me in I have gambled everything I can tell you how it's gonna end I'll be counting millions in a bendz I've let go of all my fear I don't need a suvonyier I don't know what happens when you die Heaven won't you let me in Heaven won't you let me in I'm just trying to get it while I'm alive