Internal Affairs

My rap scribbling is best written in My heart pad The same heart broken by women in My second and third year of college Jennifer, Kim And em No disrespect at all, I write this song with my realest ink Since kindergarten they wanted the boy on riddlin I got bored during assignments So I quickly finished them And so my teachers called me hyperactive And highly spastic I just learned differently They curriculum sought to tie me captive Fast forward to middle school and I adapted To the ridicule That came from being a little too Interactive It's crazy Looking back it's Embarrassing to imagine Myself doing the most just to be accepted and granted A spot amongst the coolest kids I knew If they happen to laugh at my jokes Id knew that'd grant me access But my pursuit for they approval Left me strangled As the noose I used to climb the pedastal I put em on began to fasten And now the tassel on my left Graduated having no idea what would happen next That's when finally the girl id been pursuing told me yes After 4 tries and 4 times of her picking her ex I thought I bagged a dream girl But this ain't a dream world To be real What I thought would last forever Ended faster like a plea deal But anyways I shouldn't harp on that Cuz honestly I been passed the bridge I built on top of that But I won't lie it took me quite a bit to feel like loving again Back in the game, I told myself I'll never stumble again And find a bad one But as time passed me wishing that I had one Led me to rush affection That I struggled to win I was the just friends Stay up late and talk about they crush friend The "why can't I find a guy like you that I could love" friend Lean on my shoulder While dreaming of they Prince Charming Huh I guess my armour ain't enough then If Abel heard me talking like that he'd be disgusted "Like why you trippin over one chick, dawg There's hundreds and hundreds" But I guess I felt my options were slim Over time my prospects were thin That's when the homie Autumn told me I should stop looking for a woman to console All of my problems I guess that does make sense Eventually I found the one And she was worth the delay Shout out to Jay Without him, I probably wouldn't have made it From the dark place walking Through my heart take caution Serenity and bitterness The halls they walk in If I shared my every thought You'd be shocked "Wait, pardon? I didn't even know it was like that" Yeah, sorry it's the truth though At times my feelings lead me down a loophole I start to imagine them at my tombstone Daydreaming about my death can get me too zoned When I come back to reality, my imagined catastrophe Has me wandering two roads The real leads me home to the pasture in my dreams The other gives me reason to lash out and make a scene Cuz I need to take revenge, if what I'm seeing is true But maybe vengeance is a method that is fleeting to use Because the message of your pain can be misleading, construed But what the hell, they all deserve the punishment that they due All this family drama got me hoping for truce But then I wonder what Tony would do