Vanity

One thing that I do is try to control everything inside my life It never works look at the trouble that it brings Look at the pain that I have caused all this destruction wasn't worth it Look at all that I created I don't know my greater purpose I ain't mad at anyone cause I'm the reason it ain't working Yeah it took a couple years for me to learn that we ain't perfect Had to, lose all my family And most of my sanity Can't fit in humanity Damn I lost all my clarity It's actually amazing I've made it as far as this Thought that I would feel completed after all of these hits But I'm in my room, just clenching my fists and losing my grip It was all about the passion now it's money and spliffs So who got this, who got that Judging value with gifts I had a crew, where they at Many people have split Maybe it's normal to grow up and slowly distance apart But I'm not good at saying bye from ones I loved at the start I find some comfort knowing that we both look up at the stars I had to let go of the hate cause it was killing my heart My grandfather died of cancer wonder how I'll depart I think about it way too much so I'm afraid of the dark In the same moment I can see all of this beauty in front of me Feeling grateful that I even have you all in my company If enough ends up being the last record I make Carry it knowing that I gave it all I had in this place I've seen a lot that I don't speak of I pretend it don't exist Checking boxes that don't matter on a fabricated list Why you asking where I been my answers I been building this I was drowning in emotion so I had to build a ship I'll be thirty in a year or two Seeking out a clearer view But every day that's passing by I feel like death is nearing too Like hey, haven't seen you in a minute you look older now I'm still the person that I was I'm just a little colder now Preacher looking at me I don't think he wants to mess with this Christians saying one thing but that goes against the Methodists Searching what the method is I know it's not a pessimist Just respect a human as a human and don't question it That's a universal law that's been written in stone But we carry negativity that started in our homes If this reaches you in time I'm asking what you plan to be And what you see when you get stripped away of all your vanity