The Best Song in the World

Well, I got up from bed this mornin', went outside to stretch my knees Pick up the morning papers, walk around and catch some breeze I searched inside my pocket for some money I could spend When I met up Daisy Lee, my good old childhood friend She was messy like a beggar, wond'rin' up and down the street Stinkin' worse than fish, her face as dirty as my feet She was talkin' to herself around, just like a loon I went up to her and hoped that she would recognise me soon She looked at me and said, I know you, or at least I hope I do I said, You're right, you're Daisy Lee, so what's been up with you She said to me, My friend, I hope that you won't mind the smell But could you sit yourself down and hear the story I've got to tell We sat down on a park bench and I said, So, what's the deal She said, I've been cheated by people who don't feel guilty when they steal I wrote the best song in the world, but no one thinks I'm for real 'Cause everybody I talk to does not believe my skill Nobody believes me, they all think that I'm a freak You may think that I'm a freak too, but at least I have to speak I wrote the song some time ago, it made me feel so proud That I just thought I would do well if I could put it out I went down to the studio and did it all myself I played every instrument, and hoped that it would sell The producer, he thought it wouldn't, he said that it sucked I said to him, Well, maybe, but I wish to try my luck So, the single didn't get released, that is all I can say But I felt deep inside I had been cheated in some way I realised that everyone was rippin' off my song And there was nothing I could do, though I knew it was wrong Pink Floyd stole my bass line, though I really don't know when But it ended up on Money, and the credit went to them Well, the producer denied everything, he told me to go home And I had no way to prove that the song was my own Meanwhile, Jimmy Page was stealin' all my guitar riffs And that is why Led Zeppelin is famous as it is If you think the drummin' in Rush's songs is great and wonder why Just keep in mind who Neil Peart was really inspired by The rippin' off went on, and I thought it couldn't be But Zappa's Peaches in Regalia stole my melody Jimi Hendrix stole my solos, and it really hurt my skull But even my flute playin' was ripped off by Jethro Tull Even that Bob Dylan! That vocal style was mine They did everything freely, and I didn't get a dime I sat there, dumbfounded, hearin' the story she did tell I asked her, What was the song called? she said, Tubular Bells I said, Well, I've got to help such a great friend like you I'll talk to Pinkie Pwaifu, there must be something she could do She said, You think that she can help? You think that she'll believe I said, Maybe not, but she might find you a better place to live So, I found I couldn't move after everything she said The poor girl is insane, I got to help before it's too late I sat, in disbelief, and then, to relieve my stress I asked her, Did your song have any lyrics? she said, Yes I said, Well, then, who took them? Where do they now belong? She said, You'll prob'ly rip them off and use them in this song