Rome Is Falling

Good evening ladies and gentlemen And welcome aboard Time Machine Flight 808 With non-stop service to the year 2019 This is your captain Moddy McSquares speaking Please, sit down Take your shoes off Enjoy some of our hors d'oeurves Or perhaps a glass of sparkling Napa Valley Rosé We will be departing from the year 1982 very shortly But right now we'll be making our way around the cabin To see if any of you cunts Have a question For us Yes, you there in the fanny pack Please calm down sir I'm just so excited Yes I can tell Can you tell me what it's like? You're literally about to find out, sir Oh please, you can't just give me like a little hint or something? Can you tell me what it's like in the year 2019? Please? You really wanna know that badly? Alright... There's too many raisins in the sun Too many Sun-Maid ladies Hoping and praying their grapes'll make them famous Too many fratties having fun Mommies and daddies dumping bucks Into one big red Solo cup This shit's absurd So many jobs to be done So good luck finding work! The ones who do get petting zoos And ballpits in their office And then quit 'cause 'Ew, my boss is such a jerk! Bitch I'll take that money Because if I can make it Thru 2018 Then I can make me A full-blown star So be my shield From d'evils, Jesus The mirror mirror The bathroom stall All of my friends are drugged up All of my friends are fucked up all day long We're all out of our heads on something Out of our heads on something Waiting for Rome to fall And all this time I thought I was crazy To use the brain that my mama gave me And that is why... What the fuck do you want? I'm sorry, I just wanna know what the ladies are like Isn't that your wife right there? Well, yeah, I know, but, I just wanna know Is there a spirit of love in the air? Romance, is that still kind of a thing? Alright guy, just relax I'm gonna break it down like this, okay? All the fellas out there They don't give a damn They just wanna know where the hoes are And all the ladies out there Well they can say they care But they just wanna get their Patron bought And did I mention that we're high as fuck? I'm talking opiods, 'roids, and Adderall We're all out of our heads on something Out of our heads on something Waiting for Rome to fall I saw the lie and said 'I don't believe, sir And all I got was a crummy t-shirt The God you love is the one who feeds ya So I'm genuflecting for dollar pizza Give us this day our daily serving Of fake cheese, grease, and cheap tomaters Praise be to the savior Who saves us from digging into our savings From overloading our credit cards any farther From jam-packing any more plaque Into them fast-clogging arteries No, I haven't been to my doctor recently Have you seen the size of my deductible? But guess what? Gary Vee says that I'm young enough to eat junk food And he's a genius! He only got to where he is because he's smart! And worked harder than everybody else... I'm sensing senses numbing The second this second coming comes The center says it's gonna hold But things'll start to fall apart We're neutral on a moving train That failed to break the summit Little engine couldn't 'Grass is greener' dream in tact It rolls back to the start Human crush A crowded elevator packed To mass capacity is jumping Just to dare the cable up above to snap How much is too much? It isn't up to us A hurricane don't give a fuck about your future Or the rabbit in your hat Rome is falling Rome is falling Rome is falling Rome is falling Rome is falling Rome is falling Rome is falling Rome is falling Rome is falling Rome is falling Rome is falling Rome is falling Rome is falling Rome is falling Rome is falling Rome is falling 2019? 1982? How about 1952? It's been going downhill since the end of the second World War But none of you fucks seemed to notice Or give a shit And now it's biting us in our big Fat Asscheeks