Knowing (?)

My eyes cannot focus, I think they'll roll out of my head 'Cause my thoughts are talking too loud I'll swallow my words then throw them back up I don't mean to scare you But I've never stopped complaining. I'll never stop oversharing to strangers I know I'm talking in code And I'm never going back home I won't say goodbye To all that I've gained from living a lie Oh I'm smaller than I thought but I still take up too much space Oh I'm on my hands and knees for you I, I let you slip away I'm forgetting everything I've ever known The way that your eyes looked Your voice on the phone I can't taste your lips I can't feel your breath I mutter alone, Please don't ask what's next It's scary, but I thought one day you would save me from things that I know Now we're talking in code And I'm never going back home I'll keep losing track Of all that I've lost From living a lie Oh you're smarter than I realized but I won't let you slip away Oh I don't know what's next Oh you were my best mistake Show me how to write with stars Show me how to lose my breath Show me everything inside you I'll show you what's next You're closer than I realized I think I should run away I'll look up at the stars tonight I still think you're a mistake Tell me all your biggest secrets Show me how to lose my breath Tell me I look pretty With your hands around my neck You're different than I thought Youll never go away You're all I've ever needed You're still a mistake Tell me everything you're thinking Show me how to lose my breath Your words are laced with panic My eyes fill with regret You're exactly who I thought I'd throw it all away For a chance to start again You're still a mistake