Do Better

No more holding back Gotta' leave it all on the table I got a new perspective I channeled like watching cable I deaded' my habits and doubts The same way Cain did Able But not over jealousy man My thoughts got the best of me You see in elementary They told me that I had way too much energy And tested me for ADHD, Tourette's, ODD Put in slower classes Even though I got A's even B's Then my Grades dropped Cause others found out And were judging me Frustrated To the point Was in suspension for some weeks Started lying, skipping school Knew that this wasn't for me Only thing that ever saved me Was my art It gave me peace All the while I was having issues with my family Hated my father for the fact I couldn't see him daily I used to say he got his reasons Then the hate grew weary I went to therapy And found out how much I need healing 12 years late for me Man the thought of a revelation escaping me Was becoming the man I told myself I would never be Treated poorly by a few cousin's, auntie's and uncle's The purity in me crumbled Nobody I could look up to Been disrespected Shut out All for them to just call me trouble Then Momma' gave me great advice She told me let go let it be She told me all I have is all I need And all I need is faith to stand on When nobody stands for me There's parts of me I started loving last week That I never loved Addressed all the attacks I've had from all sides Even love See love for me was vicious Lied on, cheated on, even beaten on Indecisive partners who here one day And the next they gone Then I started lying and cheating That's how the cycle goes Subconsciously looking for revenge And then the good ones go Soon you become a reflection Of all your exes And the next after the next Are just left to deal Wit your messes I'm so tired Man I hate how I feel Wanted to commit suicide A few times i'll be real One time at 9, 16, 21, 23 Yes I said 23 That's a year from where I be But let's settle it down The air still Sky rumbling Tell me how Did I make it this far God I finally see it now Got a bigger part for me In this vision That you laid out Imagine at a point I tried to renig Man I wanted out Lost my sense of purpose I dropped my faith Never turned around Until I learned that I could unlearn the lies That were goin round Cause what goes around Will come around And really tell you bout All the ones you thought were for you Always hated how you smiled Glad I found God again Reminded me what this is bout' Don't dim the light you bring It's all you have So please Be patient with your flame Be patient with your flame for me Be patient with the light you bring Yeah Don't dim the light you bring It's all you have So please Be patient with your flame Be patient with your flame for me Be patient with the light you bring Gave you a little glimpse in my life And I don't regret it Aint' did it if I aint' said it What I say you know I meant it My story is one I dreaded Till I knew where God was headed In this very moment listen I free myself from this prison Woah Who knew I would grow Who knew that this lack Would keep me on my toes I knew that this life Would come and it would go But I ain't know my day ones Would leave before my day fours Can't waste any time Can't waste way my life It's up and it's stuck I finally arrived Things could've ended differently if I gave up my pride If I stopped tryna' hide from God to hold on to the lies The deception and the ties That are toxic to the eye When I needed people most They always left me out to dry Tell me where was my advice I had no shoulder I could cry I just get a text back Saying next time we can try But what if I aint' promised next time And I die Then how would you feel? Would you care at all? Would you shed any tear? I know It's pretty hard to comprehend But I bet when I no longer call you I will have offen' Did You ever do your part? Listen I know you got scars But don't we all? I don't want you to miss out On your chance to say it all Say it all Don't dim the light you bring It's all you have So please Be patient with your flame Be patient with your flame for me Be patient with the light you bring Yeah Don't dim the light you bring It's all you have So please Be patient with your flame Be patient with your flame for me Be patient with the light you bring I gotta know God Why you choose me? I know you got a plan for me But some days I can't take it No more I I want to be set free Yeah Want to be set free I used to feel like I had to take it all Put it on my shoulders Yeah I had to pay the cost Soon then I learned the cost was already for That don't mean that I won't fall Just means that I fan shake it off I was made in his image So that means that I'm a boss That mean that I'm a Boss That mean that you a boss Put your hands up in the sky If you know that you a boss It don't matter bout your handicaps Or any of your flaws It don't matter bout' the times That you did all them wrongs Either lay down to the enemy Or keep on moving on This is crazy faith I know But this a tone that's set in stone Cause I know he will provide If we keep on moving on Yea Yea I'm a boss I was born to fail No wasn't supposed to be here at all Then God gave the call So you know I had to ball