Song parody of

NORTH

by E.Cole I

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  • English (English)
  • Français (French)
  • Español (Spanish)

Yeah It's that time of year I'm going out to clear the deck Stashing the patio set busting my rear end This table's too big can someone help me lift it up? Quick? Mother f*** these chair legs bruised my shins up Eight Day's showing a graphic of snowflake Time for some widespread panic across the whole state (Oh great) No parking at the store, I make my own space Ain't a single loaf of bread up in the whole place (Whole grain) There's no water to be found not even OJ But I got a lotta balls like I store the croquet Swiping Aquafina out your cart while you're not lookin' Throwing in some chicken noodle soup and straight bookin' Calling up the wife (Get me in the back alley) I'm cold like Doug E. Doug at the Olympics up in Calgary Long winter ahead, no choice but to succumb bruh So cold hitchhikers hold up pictures of a thumbs up Welcome to the North… Cancellations Stores… Stores are chaos Snowplow knocking down your mailbox Wel-Welcome… the North Ro-R-Road Closures P-P-Polar… Vortex In the North all business as usual You get this in the South you'll be planning your funeral It's nightfall throw that Yule log on fast The snow bank's keeping the beer colder than Rudolph's ass Got my snowblower ready for this Bombogenesis So I'm casually depositing the snow over your fence Pivot around and we got like eight inches more I think we pissed off Mother Nature 'cause she just ate the porch This is torture, can't see, goggles got frosted Ice lodged under my pants around my Bob 'Crotch-it' 'Tis the season I'm supposed to act like Jolly Ol' Cole But this winter's got me feeling like I'm probably old, so A Snow Day's synonymous with 'locked in own home' The shovel turns strong men into hobbling old folks Take off my snow pants man I'm done with the weather Sorry 'bout the shrinkage hun but it should fit you much better After 10:00 it's time to get some things bouncing No snow inside but I'm still upstairs plowing Welcome to the North… Power Outages C-Col-Colder than Rudolph's ass Put-Putting on chains Lower back pain… pain North… Wel-Wel-Welcome to the Nor… Snow-Snow... pocalypse In the North all business as usual You get this in the South you'll be planning your f… planning your funeral The winter is upon us Get snug and warm and cozy

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NORTH

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