Song parody of
Batman Walks Into a Bar
by Josh Wheeler
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The rain was flooding the drive home from work
I deemed it unsafe to drive
I pulled over at the nearest parking lot
At a bar called The Gotham Dive
It's easy to find a seat unoccupied
When the bar looks closed
So when Batman walked in he had forty open seats to choose from
And you can guess which one he chose
He sat down in the seat to the left of me and I said
Well that's a hell of a suit
And I introduced myself and I shook his hand and he said
You can call me Bruce
And after a while the bartender smiled and said
What'll it be?
Batman said I'd love a glass of justice, but I can't drink when I'm on call
So I'll take a chamomile tea
And he said you know what really bothers me
Is how much I drink when I'm alone
I feel like work might kill me
And I wish I would have known
That there's a hero inside of every one of us
Just waiting to be found
There's a hero inside of everyone of us
And you should never let him out
He looked at a girl across the bar
He turned to me and spoke
Said there was a hero inside of her last night
But I left before she woke
Then she headed our way and she said how do you sleep at night?
Then she slapped his face
And he said generally I sleep vertically upside with my eyes closed
Inside of a cave
He said there's clown I work with
He's always making jokes
And he asked me why so serious
And I said it's 'cause I know
That there's a hero inside of every one of us
Just waiting to be found
There's a hero inside of everyone of us
And you should never let him out
Riddle me this
What would happen if I left this town
What would happen if I quit this job
And I hid the hero back inside
By this point I'd finished a couple of drinks
He removed the mask from his eyes
And he walked over to the window through which he
Quietly observed the night
And there in the sky the bat signal signed and
Well he paused to think
And he said I think I'll call in sick tonight
And he ordered himself a drink
The rain was flooding the drive home from work
I deemed it unsafe to drive
I pulled over at the nearest parking lot
At a bar called The Gotham Dive
It's easy to find a seat unoccupied
When the bar looks closed
So when Batman walked in he had forty open seats to choose from
And you can guess which one he chose
He sat down in the seat to the left of me and I said
Well that's a hell of a suit
And I introduced myself and I shook his hand and he said
You can call me Bruce
And after a while the bartender smiled and said
What'll it be?
Batman said I'd love a glass of justice, but I can't drink when I'm on call
So I'll take a chamomile tea
And he said you know what really bothers me
Is how much I drink when I'm alone
I feel like work might kill me
And I wish I would have known
That there's a hero inside of every one of us
Just waiting to be found
There's a hero inside of everyone of us
And you should never let him out
He looked at a girl across the bar
He turned to me and spoke
Said there was a hero inside of her last night
But I left before she woke
Then she headed our way and she said how do you sleep at night?
Then she slapped his face
And he said generally I sleep vertically upside with my eyes closed
Inside of a cave
He said there's clown I work with
He's always making jokes
And he asked me why so serious
And I said it's 'cause I know
That there's a hero inside of every one of us
Just waiting to be found
There's a hero inside of everyone of us
And you should never let him out
Riddle me this
What would happen if I left this town
What would happen if I quit this job
And I hid the hero back inside
By this point I'd finished a couple of drinks
He removed the mask from his eyes
And he walked over to the window through which he
Quietly observed the night
And there in the sky the bat signal signed and
Well he paused to think
And he said I think I'll call in sick tonight
And he ordered himself a drink
