Short But Strong

In 69, I was born (Nice) It was my mother I adored She punished me, made my butt sore Which made me respect her more I hated the French, they made me sick They took my land, what a bunch of- (WHOA THERE) I wanted to rise up the ranks But lost my spot to the noble cranks Revolution was my dream Won some battles, caused a scene I'm not the same as I used to be I'm a king, now I need my queen Problem is, I have no game Ladies don't wanna be in my lane Luckily, I found Josephine Although she wanted nothing to do with me Afterward, sucked to be me We were at war, I had to leave Europe hated my country And now we had to fight and be mean War of the First Coalition began The whole country knew how great I am I had the respect of everyone Everyone knows what I've become When I home to my surprise I found her with another guy Nothing explained my despise I thought she loved me, I wasn't right Then I met a wealthy dude He helped me in staging a coup Then we formed the consulate And I became the big dictate Europe hated us for real 'Cause we were spreading new ideals Then marked the Second Coalition And we won, yet again Europe was at peace for once But it wasn't good for everyone So I made the Napoleonic Code And made reform to give people some food I made infrastructure change Got rid of those scummy reigns Took those women's rights away Made people learn from the first day Brought back the Catholic church Made sure the Jewish didn't leave in a hearse And I became Emperor Now I was the supreme governor I sold some land to the USA And once again got Europe's hate But then the British took the waves And France might meet its final fate Then came Coalition 4 Prussia really wanted war But then I liked the Russian dude He was so cool and was so cute But I had to deal with the Brits They controlled trade with their navy ships So then I blocked off all their trade They blew up Denmark anyways Then I went to control Spain But it was just a real pain They came in with forks and canes And beat us up, the whole brigade Then came Coalition 5 British under Austrian disguise We pushed them back within a year And made them cry those ugly tears I got rid of that old hare Couldn't give me a male heir Found an Austrian with better hair And had a little boy to take care But then my true love betrayed me Sided with the other team Russia traded with the Brits So now I had to invade it Lost so many soldiers there Battle was not very fair Took over Moscow anyways And Russia just wanted to wait Wait! It got really cold I guess you could say that the plan was real bold Got back as soon as we could Outcome not looking so good Russia had just left us shook We were barely off the hook Coalition 6 began We had lost many a man Austria went to the Brits Our truce didn't work in the end Paris fell to the traitors They came in like big gators Made me abdicate the throne Sent me to an island alone Then I returned back to France The new king just took off and ran Coalition 7 began And they were coming for my (Butt) I lost to those damn Brits Went for me I took some hits Sent me to St. Helena And now I was a depressed bum