Song parody of
Lost Treasure
by Nigel Birch
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One man's trash
Is another man's treasure
I can still see the regret
Of your ex
Who spent time
Sifting through the garbage
That he dumped just to find
What he's now realized is a
Collector's item
Whose love belongs to me
Which is you
Because he didn't see your value
But in his twisted mind
He thinks I stole you
Shoot
I just did what he failed to do
I consoled you
I separated mice from men
And refused to bait you in
With cheesy lines
That had you blindly walk through
Traps full with trauma
I can still smell the ashes
Of the hole
He burned into your soul
Leaving you with hands
Shaking cereal boxes
Down to the last drop empty
I was there
For the downpour of tears
That we boiled to make
Earl Grey Tea
To ease the pain
Of a turbulent past
You couldn't stomach
Shoot it was
So bad
You couldn't even take
My sugar
It was processed
I mean
It was a process
To get you to see
That I love you
And to show you
I'm not him
Not them
Not the boogie in the men
That dancing around love
With no intention to
Give it to you
Their aim
Was solely to play games with you
But I refused
To Jeopardize our Fortune
With some silly Love Connection
Because the Price seemed Right
I said I refused
To Jeopardize our Fortune
With some silly Love Connection
Because the Price seemed Right
But i'll willfully play possum
With your past
So it's dead to you
I'm on a conquest
To remove
The mildew off your
Crown jewel
That's made you second guess
The quality of your treasure
So I have you appraised often
To assess
The equity in my investment
Because unlike them
I'm not willing to lose you
But I do
Understand your ex's
Frustration
And for them
Reminiscing must be like
You know
That romantic film
Where the guy connects all the dots
Realizes she's the one
So he tries to figure out
What train station she's at
And starts running
Really, really, really hard
In hopes of getting to that platform
For that moment of forgiveness
But then
But then i'm standing there
In fact
That sounds like a really bad horror film
But as of right now
In their current reality
I ain't going nowhere
I get it
She's special
So for any of her ex's
Living with regrets
I honestly feel sorry for you
Because if you know what I know
But you're just know
Realizing what I know
You missed out on a complete
Experience
With a woman that could have
Transformed you
But the boy in you
Wouldn't allow her to explore
Your maturity
And challenge your development
So stayed in a state
Of prepubescence
Seeking out women with lesser intelligence
But always
Providing you with attention
I know your type
I know you
But now she's gone
And you've grown up some right
Your ready
But she's outgrown you
You see
You tried to sell her theories of love
With no practical application
But she hired your expectations
Thinking you could fulfill
The role of forever
But you knew damn well
You were under qualified
For the position
You see
She required a man
That likes bangles and earrings
Someone that was willing to jumping through
Hoops for her
So I jumped at the shoot
To fit inside her whole
Because my goal
Wasn't to complete her
It was to assist her
In the areas
That had been punished by men
Whose insecurities
Took advantage of her purity
Poisoning her mind with bitters
Leaving her broken
On the curb
For dead
Someone else's trash
So I picked up a masterpiece
And place a prized possession
On a pedestal
Because you fucked up
But thank you
I appreciate it
One man's trash
Is another man's treasure
I can still see the regret
Of your ex
Who spent time
Sifting through the garbage
That he dumped just to find
What he's now realized is a
Collector's item
Whose love belongs to me
Which is you
Because he didn't see your value
But in his twisted mind
He thinks I stole you
Shoot
I just did what he failed to do
I consoled you
I separated mice from men
And refused to bait you in
With cheesy lines
That had you blindly walk through
Traps full with trauma
I can still smell the ashes
Of the hole
He burned into your soul
Leaving you with hands
Shaking cereal boxes
Down to the last drop empty
I was there
For the downpour of tears
That we boiled to make
Earl Grey Tea
To ease the pain
Of a turbulent past
You couldn't stomach
Shoot it was
So bad
You couldn't even take
My sugar
It was processed
I mean
It was a process
To get you to see
That I love you
And to show you
I'm not him
Not them
Not the boogie in the men
That dancing around love
With no intention to
Give it to you
Their aim
Was solely to play games with you
But I refused
To Jeopardize our Fortune
With some silly Love Connection
Because the Price seemed Right
I said I refused
To Jeopardize our Fortune
With some silly Love Connection
Because the Price seemed Right
But i'll willfully play possum
With your past
So it's dead to you
I'm on a conquest
To remove
The mildew off your
Crown jewel
That's made you second guess
The quality of your treasure
So I have you appraised often
To assess
The equity in my investment
Because unlike them
I'm not willing to lose you
But I do
Understand your ex's
Frustration
And for them
Reminiscing must be like
You know
That romantic film
Where the guy connects all the dots
Realizes she's the one
So he tries to figure out
What train station she's at
And starts running
Really, really, really hard
In hopes of getting to that platform
For that moment of forgiveness
But then
But then i'm standing there
In fact
That sounds like a really bad horror film
But as of right now
In their current reality
I ain't going nowhere
I get it
She's special
So for any of her ex's
Living with regrets
I honestly feel sorry for you
Because if you know what I know
But you're just know
Realizing what I know
You missed out on a complete
Experience
With a woman that could have
Transformed you
But the boy in you
Wouldn't allow her to explore
Your maturity
And challenge your development
So stayed in a state
Of prepubescence
Seeking out women with lesser intelligence
But always
Providing you with attention
I know your type
I know you
But now she's gone
And you've grown up some right
Your ready
But she's outgrown you
You see
You tried to sell her theories of love
With no practical application
But she hired your expectations
Thinking you could fulfill
The role of forever
But you knew damn well
You were under qualified
For the position
You see
She required a man
That likes bangles and earrings
Someone that was willing to jumping through
Hoops for her
So I jumped at the shoot
To fit inside her whole
Because my goal
Wasn't to complete her
It was to assist her
In the areas
That had been punished by men
Whose insecurities
Took advantage of her purity
Poisoning her mind with bitters
Leaving her broken
On the curb
For dead
Someone else's trash
So I picked up a masterpiece
And place a prized possession
On a pedestal
Because you fucked up
But thank you
I appreciate it
