Androgynous Disco

Aye pop yer head fair bit closer Are you comfortable there? Yeh... What's yer name? Michael Jugson Ya fookin mad aren't ya? I was watching the football, I was watching the World Cup in a pub I can't remember Diego "The Bastard" Maradonna, he has a freakout! he hits the ball with his hand It's then counted, and concluded: England are bumped out. (Oh for fuck's sake!) I was waiting on me garlic and chips, when I spied a gorgeous girl At the bar, I gotta shoot my shit I gave the ol' routine a whirl A pint of Ruddles please! And then I smack me new friend's arse A pint of Doom Bar please, and a shot for my new farce! The flirting starts and she decides to stand up, she's got a height of six foot THREE?! Her low-pitched voice started up a reply, but you'll never guess what happened to me… The bloody bastards who ran the pub told me I had to go home! They told me I was "too drunk", and that I smacked some drag queen's bum! Diego "The Bastard" Maradonna got away with... My new hot blonde girlfriend, suddenly reveals to me... Her name was actually Brian, and she was a penis-having dude-bro I tell her "it's something worth trying!" and then I danced androgynous disco Smacking the drag queen's arse while we dance androgynous disco Smacking the drag queen's arse while we dance androgynous disco I'm an English Man Abroad, now I'm finally gonna go home But before I hit the bogs, I'm gonna have one more pint Get me a pint of Tennent's, head outside the door Give Brian a wee wink, and say I'll be back for more... Smack the drag queen's arse while we dance androgynous disco Smack the drag queen's arse while we dance androgynous disco