CLEAR SKIES, CALM WATERS

(If she's mentally ill, then it ain't no deal) (If she can't make her mind, it ain't worth your time) (If she's mentally ill, then it ain't no deal) (If she can't make her mind, it ain't worth your time) Look, yeah I could spaz on these piano keys But ain't a person in the world could ever handle me I'm too much to comfort More to console Where was I heading with this? You know that I never know Last tape, I said I love me more than being alive That said, I ain't the type to ever tell you a lie If I'm being real, I do what I can to keep you from hurting But my biggest fear deep is that I ain't a good person My mental a gorilla, he's strapped up with heavy arms Nothing else I said was realer, by comparison, I'm far Compared to where I was a year ago, I feel so old Prepared my hair for hitting ceiling fans, my ego is tall When I'm moving packs alone If I'm making cash alone How can I rap when there's so much going on at home? After the last tape I had to take a good hiatus This my first time in the stu since way back when when I was aimless I ain't had no direction, just a blissful erection It seem like just this time, I was finally happy in my section Felt so natural, for me to be in this place But I should've warned myself, that it could end the same way But I'm here today Look ma I got back up Even when I'm feeling down, especially on my luck I sound so selfish, hear me out I can't believe what I'm saying Start to feel like having depression in any way is basic Sorry momma don't think I can get attached to these hoes Say that now, but I ain't feel that way when I'm back at home I wanna bring somebody home so you can meet 'em But how can I be sure you'll like em when I don't know how I'm feeling Kinda feel like I'm the same as she was Thinking like, "Hell, maybe we were never different at all" I feel as toxic as you, but I guess that ain't no fair Cuz I promised not to diss you even when we split hairs So it ain't a diss, it's just a tearful goodbye The words I'm spitting here gon' make feel like I gotta cry But I can't cuz I got it all out before Nothing left, you could never make me cry no more But when these tears was falling while I was scribbling pages It made me realize all of it was just my imagination It never really felt how I thought it did Maybe I was try'na fake it 'til I made it Once I made it, made me feel like I had borrowed it Just try'na find something with someone who'll reciprocate Is that too much to ask, will it just end in pain? Will I shatter when I break, hit the bottom of the barrel I don't know just what it takes, but I thought that you were my world Where the hell I'm at now? Swear to god I hear this sounds I feel like I hear your voice when I'm alone and I'm sitting It's a vision, nah it ain't I know I gotta be trippin' Yeah, yeah This thing on? I just got off the phone with the bank I checked on my balance they said "You are what you make" Broke and I'm broken, spread the pain like a paint If the silence was token, then I'm done playing all these games These girls got they bags and loose necklaces Tighter ones called chokers, no composure, they the young and recklesses Evident, that I've lost faith in my generation I feel like the only old head who was born for demonstration In 2003, yeah it's however you see In my eyes, and my mind, I see that they start to lose me Find a map while I'm at it, 6 glasses and I still couldnt see how you think you deep You telling it to me This pain cut deep, like a knife in your dome piece Say I'm chillin, but for real I just wan' find out what love means Change the "ov" to an "if" you can't have one without the other Maybe we just all compelled to find our future children's mother Say I'm doing fine I'm calm like the sky, and the water clear It's good fishing, but if you don't wanna catch it then don't come near It used to be a charade, but now it's too close to home Ironic cuz I'm 250 miles away you know I feel unloved, untrusted, undone, and unappealing I can't go back no more, but if I could you'd be the with me But I've done what I've done, there ain't nothing else to change Time heals all the wounds, even the ones the mind can't (Hey! Welcome back) (Certainly glad you could join us) (Clear skies, calm waters) (... fantastic little painting, that I really hope you enjoy) (Clear skies) (And I sort of have an ideaa that I wanna do something with a little lake here) (and maybe put a- maybe put a little mountain back here or something I don't know) (Now we know we're gonna add water here) (And since we use the clear, it's nice and- it's nice and transparent) The sky too calm The water too clear The quiet and the silence is the root of all my fear The ripples in the water with the falling of these tears The ripples in my heart, and in the mind the grinding gears And as I'm going drawing near to when I'm finally past it here It drags me back in like a whirlpool I cannot steer The most silent storm in my mind that you'd ever hear All the while the sky is calm, and the water is clear This pain feels a bit too long A few months no sweat, but now it just goes on and goes on When I'm asleep I just dread waking up and out of the bed It's odd the pain and solace that I find inside my head It's a safe haven that ain't really safe so it seems Whenever I'm getting comfortable, it attacks my dreams Nightmares turn to reality I'm sure I'm sure of it It all feels so real, couldn't possibly dream of it And when I go to sleep I'm sure that she'll haunt me again Or maybe I'll be blessed with pleasant memories to pretend That was ever any love between us, it's so fake From the time that we started I should've know that it would break And when it did it would shatter pieces Just like this But I know that you been dreaming No it ain't about this When I said "I bet you never think about me" I was so right But that don't mean I don't think about you in the day and night The simplicity of your mind astounds me to this day Make me feel like I lost hope for all the women in this age And I know I shouldn't like that, cuz it's all lies But I am yet to see examples that would prove it otherwise It's a sad sad thing to say, and I admit it But I'll pick my next move, and I've got to live with it It's a late night when I'm writing this it's so quiet And you know just how I be when I'm surrounded by the silence The sky too calm The water too clear The quiet and the silence is the root of all my fear The ripples in the water with the falling of these tears The ripples in my heart, and in the mind the grinding gears And as I'm going drawing near to when I'm finally past it here It drags me back in like a whirlpool I cannot steer The most silent storm in my mind that you'd ever hear All the while the sky is calm, and the water is clear Yeah for now it's gonna hurt but I'm gon' keep it in private Felt blind before like I was looking through some closed eyelids And now I'm looking forward Because soon I will find it When I'm past all of the horror And find peace in the silence