RIP J.A.S & C.Q.D

I think about you every night I look up to that sky And I wish with all my might That you were still here So my siblings could have a better life What happened to you wasn't right When I saw that casket drop I knew that we had lost our bright light It's midnight now Despite my best efforts I could not take their pain away They seen too many rainy days For them I would set this whole Motherfucking world ablaze I couldn't even tell them It was all going to be okay Because I didn't even know what was next At the end of the day I just tried to be a good brother But I didn't wanna smother Because I knew this shit was not a phase It was hard to recover We had to suffer We still are We had to rediscover What makes us tougher That pain scars No matter what We'll always have one another We're bread and butter I'll be your north star You're all his legacy And if he could see you now I know he'd be proud I know he'd be proud Grandma woke me up one day She handed me the phone And then she headed on her way And then I went and said hey To my surprise It was pops on the other line And he had something to say We barely talk so it was a little off When his voice was shaky that way He said your brother's gone We found him in the garage Face full of regret Cold skin And a noose holding him from the neck My chest got heavy and held my breath It felt like eternity sitting in silence We talked for a bit Then I ended up crying Because to me He was so carefree Just a little bit younger than me And I felt to some degree That it was my fault Never mentioned suicide to me So I ignored the risk just by default I'll do my best To make sure the rest Never have these thoughts I miss you both And I'll never let you down I'm gonna make you both proud To my siblings I love every one of you I'll always be around when you're down And I'll never let you drown