Song parody of
Caught in the Trapezohedron (restored)
by MRJSTAR
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I offer the listeners a tale of suspense yet
Be warned for it lies beyond comprehension
Horrific thoughts wake me up late one night
Or was it the eerie light from a Stygian site?
No matter, I mutter, and muster, all of my courage
Suffice it, reluctance is just a
Litotes, I'm quite at ease, descending my stairwell
Delighted this plunge seems never ending!
My rational self begs to know how
A portal has ruptured from right under my house
But memories of Arkharm, a tenebrous bout
Inform me that logic's not relevant now
A downward ascent–on non-euclidean shaped steps!
I emerge feeling spent
Out of breath, bereft
I find myself at the shrine of Nyarlathotep
Colossal pillars looked odd: spires of cyclopean
Masonry that flanked the Faceless God
Oh God! Am I standing at an altar of gifts sacrificial?
Curious symbols, fifty cubits wide
As if the rock had been riven by some titanic chisel
The thought alone makes me bristle
A steady drizzle feeds a dank fungus
Charnel and foetid, yet shines in its effulgence
These arcane glyphs confirm we know where we are
We've happened upon the tomb of Nephren-Ka
Any sane man would turn back as I intend to do
But not yet, we have a relic to pursue!
Against my better judgment and will to go home
We enter the womb, invade the catacombs
Noisome vapours emit an indescribable stench
Amorphous shadows suggest another's presence
I'm loath to encounter any such sentinel
Blasphemy! Such a herald would be most eventful!
Said abnormal thoughts will likely make one appear
I blurt out through an unnerving miasma of fear
What could it be in perverse serenity the guardians hide?
Wondrous beings chained to life
Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!
Have I gone mad, what was that hideous ululation?
Neither Lovecraft nor Poe defined this exclamation
Though Pnakotic Manuscripts hint to fiendish elder myths
Of Older Gods enslaving the creatures in our midst
You mean the Shoggoth from past aeons beyond?
Correct, likely defending the Shining Trapezohedron
How could such an crazily angled diamond
Truly be the window on all space and time? And
Was it not from this singular tomb spirited away?
Last I recall it was tossed in the Narragansett Bay
And not to mention, what of blood sacrifice?
Is that paradoxical knowledge worth taking someone's life?
And most daunting is the Haunter of the Dark
Calling a god from the gulfs of chaos will surely leave us marked
Leave the incantations, instead explore your mind
The stone will show us what we seek to find
While scholars get boggled, scream and squabble
We abscond with the paperback novel, and always make sure to follow
Every single line–as designed–you should read
Take heed, these forces are divine
The first letter emerges in the dark of my eyes
Then an iridescence that could never be described
This gem draws me down a path that seems one way
Clearly this untamed realm is far from the mundane
Esoteric visions should be left unseen
But my curiosity might have got the best of me
It's not worth the risk of anguished nightmare dreams
That no mortal mind could ever hold within its seams
Who'd tear his brother's flesh, I'd not be that man
How presumptuous to think we got this far without a plan!
Let the Haunter grant us sight, in the deepest of the night
Witness life of the cosmos from dawn to twilight
Survey constellations across the light years
And ascertain the motives that fuel man's deepest fears
Let us bathe in the knowledge that grants unfettered power
Indeed that gift which demands a tribute of flesh
But in the moment before that final wicked hour
Our newfound insight will cause time to regress!
It's too late to protest, as the beacon now shines
The Spectre beckons and we seem to merge minds
Gibbous orbs of time of an unknown texture
Their nature and form utterly defy conjecture
They are large, they contain multitudes
Of countless beings consumed by their desire to rule
Interminable scenes of past and future genocide
Appear the war criminals that all would recognize
But unrecognizable, save for a few instances
Are the oceans of dolorous faces of victims
Their inquisitors, slavers, and despots amass
A nebulous pageantry form from the morass
Holding candles, they amble to the hand of the phantom
Do I gamble with this ensemble, entranced by their anthem?
Dare I scramble to the panel and channel annals of power?
Dare not, dear companion, for we must turn back the hour
Beams of light scintillate, mentally ventilate
The nefarious fete? All traces abate
That strange mad celebration, that jagged gem
And the promise of power at the expense of fellow men
I recall the purple vortices of space, the wisps of black mist that flow
And a key to the paradox of the arcania of the worlds that we know
But all the while I can't reconcile that the secrets slipped my grasp
As we trace back the sand rising up the hourglass
Horrific thoughts wake me up late one night
This time I must return to the Stygian site!
Our escape was a rare fortune so let the universe yawn
Before we return to glare at the Shining Trapezohedron
I offer the listeners a tale of suspense yet
Be warned for it lies beyond comprehension
Horrific thoughts wake me up late one night
Or was it the eerie light from a Stygian site?
No matter, I mutter, and muster, all of my courage
Suffice it, reluctance is just a
Litotes, I'm quite at ease, descending my stairwell
Delighted this plunge seems never ending!
My rational self begs to know how
A portal has ruptured from right under my house
But memories of Arkharm, a tenebrous bout
Inform me that logic's not relevant now
A downward ascent–on non-euclidean shaped steps!
I emerge feeling spent
Out of breath, bereft
I find myself at the shrine of Nyarlathotep
Colossal pillars looked odd: spires of cyclopean
Masonry that flanked the Faceless God
Oh God! Am I standing at an altar of gifts sacrificial?
Curious symbols, fifty cubits wide
As if the rock had been riven by some titanic chisel
The thought alone makes me bristle
A steady drizzle feeds a dank fungus
Charnel and foetid, yet shines in its effulgence
These arcane glyphs confirm we know where we are
We've happened upon the tomb of Nephren-Ka
Any sane man would turn back as I intend to do
But not yet, we have a relic to pursue!
Against my better judgment and will to go home
We enter the womb, invade the catacombs
Noisome vapours emit an indescribable stench
Amorphous shadows suggest another's presence
I'm loath to encounter any such sentinel
Blasphemy! Such a herald would be most eventful!
Said abnormal thoughts will likely make one appear
I blurt out through an unnerving miasma of fear
What could it be in perverse serenity the guardians hide?
Wondrous beings chained to life
Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!
Have I gone mad, what was that hideous ululation?
Neither Lovecraft nor Poe defined this exclamation
Though Pnakotic Manuscripts hint to fiendish elder myths
Of Older Gods enslaving the creatures in our midst
You mean the Shoggoth from past aeons beyond?
Correct, likely defending the Shining Trapezohedron
How could such an crazily angled diamond
Truly be the window on all space and time? And
Was it not from this singular tomb spirited away?
Last I recall it was tossed in the Narragansett Bay
And not to mention, what of blood sacrifice?
Is that paradoxical knowledge worth taking someone's life?
And most daunting is the Haunter of the Dark
Calling a god from the gulfs of chaos will surely leave us marked
Leave the incantations, instead explore your mind
The stone will show us what we seek to find
While scholars get boggled, scream and squabble
We abscond with the paperback novel, and always make sure to follow
Every single line–as designed–you should read
Take heed, these forces are divine
The first letter emerges in the dark of my eyes
Then an iridescence that could never be described
This gem draws me down a path that seems one way
Clearly this untamed realm is far from the mundane
Esoteric visions should be left unseen
But my curiosity might have got the best of me
It's not worth the risk of anguished nightmare dreams
That no mortal mind could ever hold within its seams
Who'd tear his brother's flesh, I'd not be that man
How presumptuous to think we got this far without a plan!
Let the Haunter grant us sight, in the deepest of the night
Witness life of the cosmos from dawn to twilight
Survey constellations across the light years
And ascertain the motives that fuel man's deepest fears
Let us bathe in the knowledge that grants unfettered power
Indeed that gift which demands a tribute of flesh
But in the moment before that final wicked hour
Our newfound insight will cause time to regress!
It's too late to protest, as the beacon now shines
The Spectre beckons and we seem to merge minds
Gibbous orbs of time of an unknown texture
Their nature and form utterly defy conjecture
They are large, they contain multitudes
Of countless beings consumed by their desire to rule
Interminable scenes of past and future genocide
Appear the war criminals that all would recognize
But unrecognizable, save for a few instances
Are the oceans of dolorous faces of victims
Their inquisitors, slavers, and despots amass
A nebulous pageantry form from the morass
Holding candles, they amble to the hand of the phantom
Do I gamble with this ensemble, entranced by their anthem?
Dare I scramble to the panel and channel annals of power?
Dare not, dear companion, for we must turn back the hour
Beams of light scintillate, mentally ventilate
The nefarious fete? All traces abate
That strange mad celebration, that jagged gem
And the promise of power at the expense of fellow men
I recall the purple vortices of space, the wisps of black mist that flow
And a key to the paradox of the arcania of the worlds that we know
But all the while I can't reconcile that the secrets slipped my grasp
As we trace back the sand rising up the hourglass
Horrific thoughts wake me up late one night
This time I must return to the Stygian site!
Our escape was a rare fortune so let the universe yawn
Before we return to glare at the Shining Trapezohedron