Song parody of
cutting board
by Starlynn Costa
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Sure, plants can respond to stimuli
Just like a calculator
When you put two plus two in you get four
Grab me the cutting board, I'll make the carrots cry
Break the zucchini bread, like a slice of rye
Squash the butternut, I'll give those roots a beating
Salt and pepper be mindful of what you're eating
Brussel sprouts boil beans alive, snap the peas
And dice the chives, info to leak with my kitchen knives
Rhubarb wire in the lattice pie
Meanwhile you mow the lawn and tell me plants have feelings
Potato light bulb, how many monkeys to light the ceiling?
Hang on got some bushes to trim
Flower vase filled to the brim
Lovers carve their name into a tree
Never once have I heard a tulip scream
Hey botanist, since you're too smart tell me
Plants respond to light like you trip in response to gravity
It's really something, you love plants like crazy
When animal ag destroys the Amazon for grazing
Grab me the cutting board, I'll make the carrots cry
Break the zucchini bread, like a slice of rye
Squash the butternut, I'll give those roots a beating
Salt and pepper be mindful of what you're eating
It takes more plants to feed animal livestock
To be market ready lot of energy's burned off
But you wanna argue combine harvesters
Takes more corn to feed animals for starters
Second, vegans aren't the only ones eating corn
You 4H farmer
Grab me the cutting board, I'll make the carrots cry
Break the zucchini bread, like a slice of rye
Squash the butternut, I'll give those roots a beating
Salt and pepper be mindful of what you're eating
Brussel sprouts boil beans alive, snap the peas
And dice the chives, info to leak with my kitchen knives
Rhubarb wire in the lattice pie
Massage a corpse with oil dressing
Roadkill I hear the engine revving
Gravedigger got us supper
And you call yourself an animal lover
So while some things are kinda hard to avoid
Housing development, the habitat we destroy
But this is something so simple, is to let animals be
Live and let live, can you show a little mercy?
Grab me the cutting board, I'll make the carrots cry
Break the zucchini bread, like a slice of rye
Squash the butternut, I'll give those roots a beating
Salt and pepper be mindful of what you're eating
Sure, plants can respond to stimuli
Just like a calculator
When you put two plus two in you get four
Grab me the cutting board, I'll make the carrots cry
Break the zucchini bread, like a slice of rye
Squash the butternut, I'll give those roots a beating
Salt and pepper be mindful of what you're eating
Brussel sprouts boil beans alive, snap the peas
And dice the chives, info to leak with my kitchen knives
Rhubarb wire in the lattice pie
Meanwhile you mow the lawn and tell me plants have feelings
Potato light bulb, how many monkeys to light the ceiling?
Hang on got some bushes to trim
Flower vase filled to the brim
Lovers carve their name into a tree
Never once have I heard a tulip scream
Hey botanist, since you're too smart tell me
Plants respond to light like you trip in response to gravity
It's really something, you love plants like crazy
When animal ag destroys the Amazon for grazing
Grab me the cutting board, I'll make the carrots cry
Break the zucchini bread, like a slice of rye
Squash the butternut, I'll give those roots a beating
Salt and pepper be mindful of what you're eating
It takes more plants to feed animal livestock
To be market ready lot of energy's burned off
But you wanna argue combine harvesters
Takes more corn to feed animals for starters
Second, vegans aren't the only ones eating corn
You 4H farmer
Grab me the cutting board, I'll make the carrots cry
Break the zucchini bread, like a slice of rye
Squash the butternut, I'll give those roots a beating
Salt and pepper be mindful of what you're eating
Brussel sprouts boil beans alive, snap the peas
And dice the chives, info to leak with my kitchen knives
Rhubarb wire in the lattice pie
Massage a corpse with oil dressing
Roadkill I hear the engine revving
Gravedigger got us supper
And you call yourself an animal lover
So while some things are kinda hard to avoid
Housing development, the habitat we destroy
But this is something so simple, is to let animals be
Live and let live, can you show a little mercy?
Grab me the cutting board, I'll make the carrots cry
Break the zucchini bread, like a slice of rye
Squash the butternut, I'll give those roots a beating
Salt and pepper be mindful of what you're eating
