SPEAKING FROM THE GRAVE (Piano Version)

This shit is therapeutic I'm feeling suicidal but I'll never do it I'm feeling low enough that this could bring me to it My life is fucking ruined, yeah And it's wasted, I could sit here for ages writing pages and pages, man I tried to embrace it But I'm starting to hate this, feeling feelings of hatred Got nobody to stay with, I can't pick up my payslip Cause I can't find a day shift Don't know how to survive, I got this pain in my eyes I can't sleep through the night, my temper's starting to bite and Now I'm fussing and fighting and my mama gets frightened When emotions are heightened Feel like taking my life It's being eaten by demons I'll be going to hell but I been praying for Jesus If I am deceased then they must pick up the pieces Know it won't cure the pain, it will just spread like diseases Give my family a kiss goodbye But they don't know I'm bout to disappear And I don't know who's gonna miss me here Only thing that's crystal clear I'm overriding my initial fears Just hope somebody's there to wipe my sister's tears I think she'll cry the most It's eye opening seeing all these lives erode But I only feel alive when my eyes are closed I got depression, just too depressed to get diagnosed I know that you needed me to stay But I couldn't beat the demons in my brain I wish that I could ease all of your pain But now here I am speaking from the grave I know that you needed me to stay But I couldn't beat the demons in my brain I wish that I could ease all of your pain But now here I am speaking from the grave I wish I had my life back Wish I coulda got myself on the right track I had a mountain to climb and now I'd climb that If only I had the time but can't rewind that I guess I was too scared to speak out Suffering in silence was killing me deep down All I could think every time my heart beat loud was 'how can they be proud'? So I went up to the cliff And I wish I didn't jump off it You searched for your son but you just lost him I really wish that I showed you my love often But if blood equals pain then I was blood clotting I passed on the pain; this isn't what I wanted Washed up on the beach and I was unresponsive I honestly wish that I was not dishonest And I'm sorry to you all that I broke my promise I know that you needed me to stay But I couldn't beat the demons in my brain I wish that I could ease all of your pain But now here I am speaking from the grave I know that you needed me to stay But I couldn't beat the demons in my brain I wish that I could ease all of your pain But now here I am speaking from the grave Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah I wish that I could ease all of your pain But now here I am speaking from the grave Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah I wish that I could ease all of your pain I felt worthless trapped on earth with purpose lacking, Always curved advances, they deserved the chances I was hurt and stranded, so disturbed and tragic Nerve racking, I was always concerned and panicked Was deterred and vanished And the worst thing happened there's no turning back I can't reverse my actions re-emerge like magic I submerged the sadness And reserved my casket Can't reverse this damage I used to say 'kill me now' Cause I was fighting myself and I was filled with doubt I was only looking for a quick way out But I was somebody that someone couldn't live without Ay, I used to say 'kill me now' Cause I was fighting myself and I was filled with doubt I was only looking for a quick way out But I was somebody that someone couldn't live without