Park Güell

Bro, I took the worst piss of my life in Park Guëll while I was on vacation in Barcelona, Spain Oh my bad, Barthelona, I mean And I'm not lying when I tell you it was one of the shakiest bathroom operations I ever waited in to pee They really had me standing for horas out in the hot ass summer Spanish sun That's no way to treat a tourist, I'm a guest in your country And by the time the wait was over my vacation was done I ain't even get to walk the park or see the sculptures Spent a whole afternoon in that line I brought it on myself though, never thought I'd be chilling in Spain I was drinking Fanta Limón's like 3 or 4 at a time You know you can't get 'em in the States, I was just getting my fill But it made the wait that day a lot worse The line was mad long, like really, and I'm 37th in it Like, at least 36th from the first Had me thinking that my bladder gon' burst, I won't let it I'm supposed to turn 27 this fall I can't be caught pissing my pants off soft drinks Even in a foreign land that's a bad look I need to focus up but I can't stop from people watching It was some hilarious looking dudes in this line There was a group of holiday-ing Scots standing right in front of me Catching Mike Tyson haymakers from the sun I mean, look They got black tattoos with good line work, but Their skin so light it looked green They were pale as a linen sheet hanging dry on a clothesline, on the night of a full moon I know you know what I mean I had to put my sunglasses on, the sun reflected off their backs at an angle And I ain't tryna pass judgment, Lord knows, you look how you look But I never seen skin that white before Couldn't see nothing without squinting my eyes Don't ever stare directly at the sun or a Scottish man in summer time Unless you wanna go blind for a permanent or limited time Cuz yo dumbass wanna drink Spanish Fantas with Lime But once I put my shades on, I was really chillin I could finally see what's going on at the front of the line And much to my dismay, the process they had looked iffy as fuck Everyone was walking out shaking their hands Which means whatever hand dryer they got prolly wasn't doing its job Spain don't really get down with the paper waste like that, which I commend But it's not the best customer experience, that's for sure Like how a paper straw dissolve but don't bend When I made it to the front I had to stop myself from busting out laughing Bathroom attendant almost made me cry Why? They got a man in a shitty suit guarding the toilet stall like we lining up to piss in prison And it's only single occupancy Hope he ain't asking for no Euros Cuz I ain't paying to piss Bruh, I can see where it's at just fine, don't need assistance If anything, you killing the mood This fool was wearing fingerless gloves like he came out of Street Fighter And lemon lime Reebok tennis shoes I was confused, like, what's your job description? Checking if I piss on the floor? And then asking, "please can you clean this up?" This ain't kindergarten, sir, I'm on vacation If I miss, I'ma charge it to the game And turns out I was right about the hand dryer sucking It had a very, very non-name brand, definitely wasn't a Dyson Oh, my bad, Dython Like I said, whole operation was shoddy Low-ass ceilings and no real ventilation to speak of You know covid running rampant in the there And to be honest Shit had me stressed Had to set a reminder in my phone to take a self-antigen test Shit had me stressed Had to set a reminder in my phone to take a self-antigen test