When She's Jingling my Bells

Jingle bells Jingle bells Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride Your old fatass wife I'm making these toys, all year long Breaking my hands, making them strong Never get a break, I'm up real late All year long till Christmas Day Forced by the Fat Man, chugging a beer can Ask for a rest, he goes off like the Taliban I might be short, and I smoke a lot of Newports But if I'm riled up, I'll kick down your fucking door I'm breaking these chains, your gonna be maimed Fuck those toys, your gonna be flamed My revenge will be loud, we're gonna be proud Hanging up your corpse, wild goes the crowd I'll blow your mind, your gonna find When you mess up, your bones I'll grind Your end will be sour, within the next hour Your body will fall, like the twin towers Your as fat as Nikocado, and I'm the desperado I'll hit you with my truck, a chevy Silverado I'm in my prime, committing war crimes I'll drone strike your house, it's about time The line you have crossed, I'll call up Jack Frost He has some Zyklon B, Another Holocaust We'll be executing, burning and looting It'll be easy, like a school shooting Jingle, Jingle, all the way Swinging round this dick like I'm fucking gay Rizz Up Mrs. Claus and she's sucking on my meat Got me shaking and screaming like a porn cliché Ms. Claus bouncing up and down this big ass tip. While you're out on your little business trip. The ho ho ho likes to steal the fucking show So I keep her down behind me like a motherfucking shadow Get in the Christmas spirit while I'm plowing your old lady Treat her like a gentleman cause your ass is like eighty Fuck her in your bed till four and make her scream and beg for more Tuck her in goodnight before I head for what I came here for Once I finish all that, best prepare for the finale Bout to knock some shit down like a fucking bowling alley Your furry reindeer friends are bout to meet their fucking end Cuz I'll rock their shit like a vegan with a veggie blend Rudolph with your nose so bright Watch your reindeer pals die in one fuckin' night Strap 'em all with C four Fly 'em to a superstore They go boom like Kamikaze in the Second World War Massacre the deer like 1994 Rwanda Run 'em over in my car at 90 miles an hour Put 'em in a free-for-all And douse 'em all with alcohol Then light 'em, watch 'em burn and die Like Sun Yue playing' basketball You wiretap the kids just like Watergate Your a king sized douche, I'm thinking Andrew Tate You embody everything I could ever hate When I think about your death I just masturbate But I don't need to now, cause I got yo wife She lookin kinda thick, fuck her outta spite Only took a couple seconds, I'm feeling alive Chugged a eggnog and a sprite, and now I'm revived It's a great time, even though she's old as hell She's got the energy of a gazelle After while, I started to feel unwell She gave me soup, and she's Jingling my Bells Suddenly the door came crashing down She stood up and put on a night gown In came Santa Clause, with a large frown "Fisticuffs." he said. "The final showdown." "I am American, kill you with my shuriken Jack your stuff and take your land, hit you with a frying pan I'll shoot with my Glock, hit you with my rocky sock Wearing my new Gucci crocs, I'll rip your off fucking cock I am The President, put you in my dark basement You read the Old Testament? Frogs and flies and hail I send I'll kick your fucking ass, run it through some broken glass Prepare for my anal blast, This day will become your last