Sobering Thoughts From The Mondrian

So, never had a handout, lately seein' the hands Pain movin' forward, but fuck it, we still advance as God still in the plans, took fifteen-hundred Knows that's nothin', I'm on my rants (that's for real) Look, I can spot a user of green straight off the glance Chicago in the summer, no burner, we took a chance I slid to give the city my energy and my plans LA been too vague for me, painfully been jaded Took a toll, put a strain on me, insane to me A huge strain, ironic, can't see the gains on me Feel my time comin', I need that shit here quicker Vodka with a spritzer, networkin' to bill figures Pour it out when they ain't lookin' pour Henny, I'm still nigga It's ghetto on me, stain, removin' to kill my inner heart To change the cards I'm dealt when my niggas still dealin' I thought it'd be different, forgive my heart to kill my sickness I thought it'd be different, follow traditions, where I end up, look Built my foundation with glass so y'all can see it clear Stones casted at it, but from the inner, let's keep it real Everywhere's there should help the cell, better sink the ship Gotta break my standards, ain't ego for us to co-exist Put it all in the music to heal my pain I relate to Tom Brady, lost my family to the game I made niggas treat the story godly Jealousy formin' from salt, but I love it more than Laurie's Petty nigga, I brought gifts to the pity parties It's nothin' better than lettin' 'em see you movin' largely Soulfully ended and it rolled through the trenches with it Great speed, nigga This shit like gettin' a ring from the eighth seed, nigga You hear cheers, I don't buy it, that's a hate speech, nigga Look, I see through a grotto, I let my spirit follow Tryna let my love lead the way But that lead to more expectations and sorrows It's heavy wallows, feelings swallowed Can't tell if it's real, does this shit just make me hollow? Can't come off that hill unless the love slowly spiral, look Long range for change, I turned pains to gains Love turned to strays, that path turn terrain The doubt turned to rain, I dry that in my lane Tom Brady, lost my family to the game Nothin' changed, I thought it'd be different They love me at my lowest, I thought it'd be different Some bridges burn, summers golden Heavy pressures on my shoulders 'Cause while I sold records, sold lyrics, sold message Know my soul I never sold or is Soulfully ended and it rolled through the trenches Look, I've been scared to settle down Part of that fear's worried about settlin' Mistakes, wish I could white 'em out Too proud of my melanin, ghost ride to the riches Tenths on it for my skeletons 'Cause they been holdin' me down, got a fear about tellin' 'em (uh) I just keep 'em in that closet, so I don't have to face 'em all This fabric on me's like I'm tryna hide my fabrications It's like I'm in search of your validation, it's like, shit It's like I keep sayin', "Like," 'cause I can't commit to nothin' Windows down while my speakers bumpin' Hope it air out all these deep discussions Not bein' honest with self could be your saddest sickness Feel like I've been wearin' that mask better than Stanley Ipkiss Look, I've been carefully inchin', but been constantly workin' Constantly patient, constantly urgin', I'm constantly trippin' I know my flaws and all been constantly perfect Constantly steady, but constantly nervous Constantly cool, calm, and collected On the inside I know I'm constantly urkel Runnin' circles, been livin' like gerbils Man, fuck the love, I need a girdle, tryna hold it together Lookin' down to see my soul slowly rippin' Ask God to sew it together, Reason