Song parody of
Braineaters
by Olive Empires
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The river pushes me along
I've come to spread the word of God
The darkest heart of all the earth
(Two years in deepest darkest jungle won't do anyone no harm)
I'll never care if I was wrong
These people need my paradise
(Ten thousand years without my God and the malaria is killing)
Who else will speak on their behalf
And reckon sins they don't accept
(Two thousand years of human progress made without Messiah's blessing)
They'll listen well or pay the price
Down the river, I'm received
They seem to me to be confused
As though I've come from up above
(What kind of Heaven must these animals think holds their great salvation)
Whatever heaven they've conceived
It's time to right their heathen ways
(Who else to tell them eating brains is something they should not be doing)
The book I carry gives me strength
A way to calm these nerves of glass
(Why should I let these nerves of mine be rattled by these simple creatures)
To help me meet their savage gaze
The river
The river pushes me along
The river
The river pushes me along
For weeks they've catered to my needs
My every hunger is fulfilled
I am the god I swore to bring
I say the word, they sow the seeds
And now a sacrificial rite
Before me they construct a fire
A willing virgin offered up
A feast to start my sacred night
The screams are drowned by their applause
They beg for comfort and for grace
They set the dinner out for all
There's just one thing that gives me pause
On wooden plates they serve the meat
A meal for all the tribe and more
But half the platters wait for me
The god who stayed for them to eat
They're eating her
And then they're going to eat me
Oh my God
The river pushes me along
I've come to spread the word of God
The darkest heart of all the earth
(Two years in deepest darkest jungle won't do anyone no harm)
I'll never care if I was wrong
These people need my paradise
(Ten thousand years without my God and the malaria is killing)
Who else will speak on their behalf
And reckon sins they don't accept
(Two thousand years of human progress made without Messiah's blessing)
They'll listen well or pay the price
Down the river, I'm received
They seem to me to be confused
As though I've come from up above
(What kind of Heaven must these animals think holds their great salvation)
Whatever heaven they've conceived
It's time to right their heathen ways
(Who else to tell them eating brains is something they should not be doing)
The book I carry gives me strength
A way to calm these nerves of glass
(Why should I let these nerves of mine be rattled by these simple creatures)
To help me meet their savage gaze
The river
The river pushes me along
The river
The river pushes me along
For weeks they've catered to my needs
My every hunger is fulfilled
I am the god I swore to bring
I say the word, they sow the seeds
And now a sacrificial rite
Before me they construct a fire
A willing virgin offered up
A feast to start my sacred night
The screams are drowned by their applause
They beg for comfort and for grace
They set the dinner out for all
There's just one thing that gives me pause
On wooden plates they serve the meat
A meal for all the tribe and more
But half the platters wait for me
The god who stayed for them to eat
They're eating her
And then they're going to eat me
Oh my God
