929

I've been trying to change Trying to reprogram my brain My mindset and the way I think I've been talking to myself I've been talking to the things I see past my mind when I close my eyes And I've been trying to get closer to god This only fills me with conflicting feelings And I don't know how to handle it I cant describe what I'm feeling but I want change I know deep down I feel like I just wanna find love But I ask god to give me what I truly desire I cant even describe what I truly desire But I know it's way beyond this I just hope it comes sooner then later And I hope when it comes I'll be ready And I hope when it comes I'll still be here I can get any bitch that I want But the only girl I truly want is you Like bitch don't kill my vibe I know you still want me You know I still want you too We could be at peace but fuck Maybe you never wanted me And you got me fucked up too You was just using me Gave away all my love You never wanna see me now Now I've put up this wall I remember when you put an end to it You wanted to see your love Now I think I'm ready to move on I've moved onto better things Onto bigger goals Still think bout you when I sing I never wanna fight with you You always wanna fight me I'm having a war in my mind Don't need another piece I know your mad at me I know I just want peace We both know we can't be together so let's just end things But fuck I love it This lust It's nothing It's in my head Can never rest Sleep in till 2 pm Wake up thinking about my past Everything that I could change I would give up all my change Just to erase all my brain All the damage I feel I'm getting number as the days go by I cant feel Fucking up my whole life Fantasizing things like knives It's unhealthy I need help Always strayed away from hell Maybe some things change o well Cant fuck with my past self But fuck it Know I gotta give credit where it's due But like fuck that shit Someone should come kill me Feels like I'm wasting my adolescents On this music dream But really it's a real thing Got these ride or die fans That I know be on my side So when I look around all sad And I'm bouta hurt myself I remember That I got you and that you got me too It's fucked up that where fucked up But I keep my dm's open so Just come around 10 pm on a Tuesday night You say you bouta kill yourself Wish you had the same mindset that I had Back when I was with her But now I got a new mindset she gave me All these scars But I kept them Put them in my pocket safekeeping You just gotta fight through And I know everything I told you You been told before But I know that you still got love in your heart We gotta tear down those walls that you built Made them out of concrete and steel Kind of ironic cuz you said everything you love and had was stolen Your love set up pins, knocked them down Like she was bowling But we got this constant fear rolling round In our brains we in common We both hurting and I can see it You can see it too I pray to god that you get better And I pray you do the same as me I got so much built up up here And I release tension from down here But shit I gotta resist Gotta better myself Praying every night Open a new chapter of the bible Wanna free my soul Wanna break the mold Stop acting so bold aye She say who you talking to I said to myself Are you confused yet Shit I was born confused Nah holup pause didn't mean it like that I'm straight now you sad love Know I'm bad for you love I cant live Like this I don't Wanna Go in circles again Shit Come save me now For I won't be saved again This my only chance to escape this conversation pain This conversation This wasn't even about a girl