Song parody of
Drag
by Warts and Owl
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I wake up early, drink a smoothie, take a bath
Muster all the energy that I hath
I put on my blue collar robes
Say bye to the cat
My broom is in the shop, so I take the broom bus
And it's really too short, it can't comfortably fit all of us
But we're all in the same broom boat
So don't make a fuss
I get to work and work, you know, is such a drag
Sometimes it feels like too much for this weary hag
But these dolls ain't gonna curse themselves
So pick up the slack
This is what it's like to be
A witch in '23
Waste my Fine Dark Arts degree
One more year here at the factory
No health insurance, but I need to check these sunspots
And all my wizard dates end early when they find out I have thoughts
My coven's going out tonight, I'm broke so I'm not
Staring at my phone for hours, it's obscene
What's worse is my phone doesn't even have a screen
I think I might have ADHD
Because of my TikTok feed
This is what it's like to be
A witch in '23
Socializing's agony, but I'm also lonely
Witches burned for heresy
Back in 1693
At least they didn't need
SSRIs for their OCD
We're all being burned alive
With lies and all-time highs
The witch keep getting witcher
While I survive on cold brew and girl dinners
It's dire, I don't get enough fiber
You can't lure a child into an air fryer
This is what it's like to be
A witch in '23
Getting Halloween candy with my girlies
Witches hanging from the trees
Swaying gently in the breeze
Enjoying an endless peace
Finally safe from society
I wake up early, drink a smoothie, take a bath
Muster all the energy that I hath
I put on my blue collar robes
Say bye to the cat
My broom is in the shop, so I take the broom bus
And it's really too short, it can't comfortably fit all of us
But we're all in the same broom boat
So don't make a fuss
I get to work and work, you know, is such a drag
Sometimes it feels like too much for this weary hag
But these dolls ain't gonna curse themselves
So pick up the slack
This is what it's like to be
A witch in '23
Waste my Fine Dark Arts degree
One more year here at the factory
No health insurance, but I need to check these sunspots
And all my wizard dates end early when they find out I have thoughts
My coven's going out tonight, I'm broke so I'm not
Staring at my phone for hours, it's obscene
What's worse is my phone doesn't even have a screen
I think I might have ADHD
Because of my TikTok feed
This is what it's like to be
A witch in '23
Socializing's agony, but I'm also lonely
Witches burned for heresy
Back in 1693
At least they didn't need
SSRIs for their OCD
We're all being burned alive
With lies and all-time highs
The witch keep getting witcher
While I survive on cold brew and girl dinners
It's dire, I don't get enough fiber
You can't lure a child into an air fryer
This is what it's like to be
A witch in '23
Getting Halloween candy with my girlies
Witches hanging from the trees
Swaying gently in the breeze
Enjoying an endless peace
Finally safe from society
