Hell, I Can Do That

I was flippin' through the channels A lazy Sunday afternoon Caught the race in Talladega Comin' round lap twenty-two When the fella in the blue car Gave the red car a little tap Then a rainbow of colors Went flippin' down the track In what hat announcer called a spectacular crash (And I thought) Well hell, I can do that What's the big deal? Hit a wall in a ball of fire requires no skill A hundred thousand fans Screamin' in the stands He gets a bag full of cash To drive in circles and crash Hell, I can do that While they were under caution I switched it back to the football game My team was losin' Coach was hangin' his head in shame Then they gave thirty-two the football And he hit the hole fast Between him and the goal line Wasn't nothin' but grass Then he tripped on his own two feet Fell flat on his back (And I said) Well, hell, I can do that Man, what's the big deal If all they want is stumbling', fumblin' skills A hundred thousand fans Screamin' in the stands He gets a bag full of cash To sit out the second half Hell, I can do that Well I must have dozed off I woke up with my baby next to me Remote in her hand, tears in her eyes from a movie A romantic comedy, starring Matthew McConaughey Oh hell baby, I can do that I don't see the big deal Kiss a girl, save the world and the monster ain't even real He just takes off his shirt Stuntman does the work He gets a boat load of cash, for a quick shot of his ass Hell, I can do that Might need to wax my back But hell, I can do that