Song parody of
You Can't Get a Man With a Gun
by Irving Berlin
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Oh, my mother was frightened by a shotgun, they say
Thats why I'm such a wonderful shot.
I'd be out in the cactus and I'd practice all day,
And now tell me what have I got?
I'm quick on the trigger with targets not much bigger than a pinpoint
I'm number one, but my score with a feller
Is lower than a celler, oh you can't get a man with a gun.
When I'm with a pistol, I sparkle like a crystal
yes, I shine like the morning sun,
but I lose all my luster, when with a bronco buster,
oh you can't get a man with a gun.
With a gu-un, with a gu-un, oh you can't get a man with a gun
If I went to battle with someone's herd of cattle
You'd have steak when the job was done.
But, if I shot the herder, they'd holler bloody murder
and you can't shoot a male in the tail like a quail,
Oh you can't get a man with a gun.
I'm cool, brave, and daring to see a lion glaring
when I'm out with my Remington.
But a look from a mister will raise a fever blister
oh you can't get a man with a gun
The gals with umbrellas are always out with fellers
in the rain or the blazin sun
But a man never trifles with gals who carry rifles
oh you can't get a man with a gun.
With a gu-un, with a gu-un, oh you can't get a man with a gun.
A man's love is mighty, he'll even buy a nightie
for a gal who he thinks is fun.
But they don't buy pajamas for pistol packin mamas
and you can't get a hug from a mug, with a slug
oh you can't get a man with a gun.
Oh, my mother was frightened by a shotgun, they say
Thats why I'm such a wonderful shot.
I'd be out in the cactus and I'd practice all day,
And now tell me what have I got?
I'm quick on the trigger with targets not much bigger than a pinpoint
I'm number one, but my score with a feller
Is lower than a celler, oh you can't get a man with a gun.
When I'm with a pistol, I sparkle like a crystal
yes, I shine like the morning sun,
but I lose all my luster, when with a bronco buster,
oh you can't get a man with a gun.
With a gu-un, with a gu-un, oh you can't get a man with a gun
If I went to battle with someone's herd of cattle
You'd have steak when the job was done.
But, if I shot the herder, they'd holler bloody murder
and you can't shoot a male in the tail like a quail,
Oh you can't get a man with a gun.
I'm cool, brave, and daring to see a lion glaring
when I'm out with my Remington.
But a look from a mister will raise a fever blister
oh you can't get a man with a gun
The gals with umbrellas are always out with fellers
in the rain or the blazin sun
But a man never trifles with gals who carry rifles
oh you can't get a man with a gun.
With a gu-un, with a gu-un, oh you can't get a man with a gun.
A man's love is mighty, he'll even buy a nightie
for a gal who he thinks is fun.
But they don't buy pajamas for pistol packin mamas
and you can't get a hug from a mug, with a slug
oh you can't get a man with a gun.