Love for Sale

Well, I wake up this morning, I rolled out of bed I felt like a dog who's been kicked in the head Checked out my mail, there was letter that read Love for sale, love for sale I picked up the phone, I called everyone I could I let my fingers do the walking through the telephone book You can't catch a fish if you ain't got the hook Love for sale, love for sale Send up a signal, throw me a line Somebody explain "this funny Valentine" It might not be legal but it sure ain't a crime I'm one step from crazy and two steps behind I called Lieutenant Columbo from my TV set I've tried the Dating Game, I haven't found her yet I'm hoping that she's looking like a Penthouse Pet Love for sale, love for sale We've been living together three years Two hours, twenty minutes, maybe four hundred beers You can't shop for love when you're shopping at Sears Love for sale, love for sale I guess I've learned my lesson, it was easy to see My old lady, she played this joke on me I never looked where I forgot it would be Love for sale, love for sale