My Eating Disorder

Drug addict since single digits Vitamins to fight the fidgets They put something in my apple sauce but I found it Now that I'm finally twenty-six Just smother it with a cigarette No, I haven't had dinner yet-what about it? It would be so easy to say it was my parents that destroyed my brain It was their drugs that drove me insane-I wouldn't be alone with all the blame No, I never felt so free from sin as when I was screaming out I can't win If it's not too late to start again, open up that womb and I'll crawl right in And when I refuse, don't begrudge me I can feel you starting to judge me I'm starting to feel, I'm feeling ugly Opened my eyes to a sever ed head Except I didn't know it was dead Only that it bled and bled upon my plate Now they pass me from hand to hand Pharmacist to Marlboro Man Back to pharmacist again, too late I know the worlds a scary place, that's why I hide behind a hairy face Blue Devils try to explain it way-blue devils started it in the first place Nobody answers for me now, nobody else s job to figure out Why I'm scared to open up my mouth, why there's so many things I can't allow Probably easier just to eat at home Better I should wait until I'm all alone Then I stuff myself until I explode Cream of my compulsion rising to the tip of the spout Screaming and convulsing, now I'm gonna spit it out An amorphous monster makes his home inside my house Even now, stretched out on the couch Waiting for the midnight hour until he gets loud Yes, my body is some prison, why else keep it filled with poison? No reason to celebrate, forget the milkshakes, Mom--it will take More than a spoonful of sugar for me to swallow my pride this time I decide what goes inside, I decide what goes inside my body One more time, I decide, I decide what goes inside, I decide what goes inside my body My eating disorder, my eating disorder, my eating disorder, it's inside me My eating disorder, my eating disorder, my eating disorder, it's inside me My eating disorder, my eating disorder, my eating disorder, it's inside me My eating disorder, my eating disorder, my eating disorder, it's inside me My eating disorder, my eating disorder, my eating disorder, it's inside me It's inside me, it's inside me, it's inside me, it's inside me, it's inside me It's inside me, it's inside me, it's inside me, it's inside me, it's inside me spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out, spit it out