I Run NY

Ladies and gentlemen, the mayor of New York Good morning, it's been brought to my attention that many rap artists Claim that they run New York, but this is not the case In fact, I wrote my own song about what it's really like Please excuse the profanity in advance, hit it I run New York! New York, big city of dreams And you know that I run this town (I run it!) King of the streets, ? concretes Skyscrapers on my crown So if you want this big apple Come try to take a bite Cause I run this motherfucking city and I won't give it up without a fight Yo, I run New York, it's a pain in the ass! The city's crowded as fuck, and it's covered in trash And the sanitation chief just shoved his shit in my face Another transit strike? oh fucking great! I can't wait To have another meeting with the labor union So the mob can bend me over And then shove their fucking shoe in But I do it so you can sip your pumpkin latté I literally run New York, and it's exhausting I run New York, it's a fucking headache It really wears you down In this lake of bureaucratic bullshit It's a miracle I don't drown I *double* literally run New York I run the marathon Plus I organized it So I double-run the marathon But no one seems to give a fuck that I'm a paragon Instead they Photoshop me so It's looking like I wear a thong And laugh at it in my own office when I'm gone I went to the Knicks game, and They booed me on the jumbotron! Excuse me for trying to help you They won't be satisfied until I'm Locked up in Bellevue I guess they don't tell you this job sucks dick I run New York and it feels like shit The chief of police is a major bully He laughs at my ideas (he's a jerk!) He made fun of my tie last week And I had to fight back tears Now on the surface, it probably seems like I should quit Cause I spend every day getting punched in the dick But at night I travel down into the subway Wearing chain mail, locked and loaded for gun play And battle the gigantic fire-breathing mutant rats If I fucking quit, who the fuck would do that? I'll give you a hint: the answer is no one That's why I'm in the sewer dressed up like a shogun Because on the equinox, a hell gate springs Releasing hounds wreathed in the blood of kings And no one even knows! they just think I'm a dork But I still kill those fucking dogs, because I run New York I run New York, it's a shitty gig There's no overtime in my pay (bullshit!) I asked this city for a fucking bonus And they said "no fucking way!" So rotten is this big apple It's crawling with worms inside But I run this motherfucking shit hole city And it makes me wanna die I run New York! Thank you