Luigi's Ballad

Princess Peach Won't you listen to my speech I don't have any stars of invincibility But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me I'm your Luigi What up, bitch, I got a one-up, bitch What's inside the question block; it's my dick It's-a-me, a-Mario, I'm more Italian than pastrami I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami I save you from dragons and evil Boos that are spooky Must I be a raccoon to get inside your tanooki I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen My mushroom's now mega, if you know what I mean So suck it Mario, you always do this shit I like a girl and then you ruin it By yelling stuff about your dick Until they go away Hey Luigi, it's okay That Mario's a bit risque Just tell me what you need to say Please don't be afraid Oh, princess, it means so much for me to hear you say that The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that-goddamn it I'm here to pleasure that ass I'd like to go first, princess, but I always come last And you say we'll get together but I'm jacking off alone Koopa Troopa skeletons aren't the only dry bones I am tired of your run around it's such a fucking hassle I go through shit and then you're in another fucking castle You gotta think about it, well I don't believe the hype You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smoking on my warp pipe O-M-G, I can't decide On which of you should be the guy To take me on your mustache ride That'll redefine my life I'm ready to give love a shot It's not about how many coins you've got I just know I like you a lot Yo, sluts, check out my yacht (ugh) Let me take you on a magic kart ride I'll bust all your balloons when I smack your backside We'll have such fun, I'll bring my friends along I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his konkey dong Come on, Peach, it's time to make your choice I'm the only plumber that can your boobies rejoice Green, lanky-ass brother ain't got shit on me It's time to live out our story, of the princess and the pea-nis So, who's it gonna be, princess? I choose Toad Toad?! Well his whole body's shaped like a dick Oh yeah, mmmhm, yeah, definitely, mushrooms look like dicks