The Now

Daddy's got a new life now A new daughter and a new male child A new swagger wid some real style New car new house brand new spouse Little shitty dog named Pouts wid smile on his mouth We'll be straight up we're forgotten cause developed a plan Once the monkey takes some time to hang with his own fam Hap' and gay to let ya know he still cares and such Ya won't grow apart too much from bein' outta touch But he wasn't there for him on the daily ghetto basis In order to drop jewels I stay clear of the racists Heavy promises became weightless Sincerity became faintless He's praying for a Santa A-list Time is passin' by yet his scars remain ageless He called him on the phone to say pop's This'll take a minute of ya time But his wishes were divined By the disenchanted tone at the end of the line, hang up He tried to look strong in front of mom back up John stop lookin' forward to the day you gonna see him on Dry ya eye to eye and you'll receive an embrace From a lost heart that's pumpin' blood up to a guilty face He's gonna try to find ways to make up for the last twenty nine days Or was it thirty, I think he heard me In situations like this ya speech becomes wordy He's got a hundred million ways to tell me not to worry But this time I wasn't hangin' on his every sentence Ears crippled by the pain and negligence so was the tendency He spoke I couldn't hear a word I zoned into black I observed My only thoughts were missin' out on love that I deserved Tryin' to convince myself I'm weak within the mental The silence breaks because your father's guidance is essential He's lookin' down with a smile sayin' that the future will be great I don't see that dad, but what about the now? Johnny come and leave ya dad alone now Yeh it's just you and momma now Stop the cryin' now, just try to smile now Try to think of other things now Momma's got another date now You can get through all the anger and the hate now Calm down and wipe ya face now I know it seems to be hard But I promise you we'll make it through somehow Little girl their firstborn their sunshine Never been a reader wrong get it right one time Here's how it goes, she's off to school an' dancin' on her toes At an hour long ballet class then on to the piano Two hours of repetition, emulatin' class with music compositions Do your homework with precision By nine-o-clock she collapses in a heat of dizziness But sleep so tomorrow you'll repeat ya business She got straight A's a stroke of her stress Throughout her maydays but drawn up out the melees Her mom and dad tryna blame each other different ways she stop and gaze Thinkin' how it drives her crazy when their voices raised This the web that ruins most of her days From her perfection was expected An exec that workin' hard without receivin' any raise At night she cries when she lays Then she wakes up, washes up smiles and goes along like it's okay On to high school, there's more intensity within her cycle She's makin' all the guys drool Here comes the extra tight rules No late, not with college on the plate Practice hard, study hard stay in focus keep ya head straight Now she's a nervouse wreck, lookin' to collect Anything that she can smoke swallow drink or inject When she was mentally gone she went to the prom Had dates and actually could sit down Discuss relationships with her mom But tell me how much pressure can a person take Before they break and maybe crush this on a large enough escape So one night she turned in but stayed up late At her desk with a single piece of paper and a papermate Here's mom a federal team waked at daybreak What she saw made her knees shake the death of dear Kate The note said here's the future of your fuckin' perfect child Please be proud I'm livin' for the now Do your work, clean your room now Take the makeup off your face now Eat your dinner now, get off the phone now Leave the boys alone now Saturday night, you stayin' home now Go to your room and sit alone now Katie with the needle how Look baby momma needs you now Breathe now, God why did this have to be now