Laugh Man

Did you ever hear the one about... Oh, God I love myself When I've got it on I know I'll live forever babe All my fears are gone Then suddenly I'm dying They turned the laugh track off I'm drowning in the silence Crucified by coughs Oh, I am the laugh man Half clown and half man Half out and half in, oh mister can't you see? I'm s'posed to leave you laughing, so why don't you laugh at me? I started out my starvin' Desperate for money My belly crackin' dirty jokes That did not come out funny My neck stuck out so far Like a gawky giraffe Screamin' on a guillotine "Come on, sucker, laugh!" I am the guy who always catches the pie I specialize in pratfalls I am the goon who flashes the moon A mouse in a house of catcalls I'm your jester your juggler Your joker your friend I'm nothing more or less Than a horse's nether end! My ego is a bubble That I realize just broke And alone without a microphone My real life's a joke Did you ever hear the one about...