This Can't Be Life

See I was, born in sewage, born to make bomb music Flow tight like I was born Jewish Used the streets as a conduit, I kept arms 38 longs inside my mom's buick At any given moment shawn could lose it, be on the news Iron cuffs, arms through it, or stuffed with embalmin fluid Shit, I'm going through it, mom dukes too Tears streamin down her pretty face, she got her palms to it My life is gettin too wild I need to bring some sort kinda calm to it Bout to lose it voices screaming "don't do it!" It's like '93, '94, bout the year That big and mag dropped; and "illmatic" rocked Outta every rag drop, and the west had it locked Everybody doing 'em, I'm still scratchin on the block Like "damn, I'ma be a failure" Surrounded by thugs, drugs, and drug, paraphernalia Cops courts, and their thoughts is to derail us Three time felons in shorts with jealous thoughts Tryin figure where your mail is, guesstimate the weight you sellin So they can send shots straight to your melon wait! It gets worse, baby momma water burst Baby came out stillborn, still I gotta move on Though my heart still torn, life gone from her womb Don't worry, if it was meant to be, it'll be, soon This can't be life, this can't be love This can't be right, there's gotta be more, this can't be us This can't be life, this can't be love This can't be right, there's gotta be more, this can't be us Chill dog Second oldest born, from Michelle brown my mother Hell bound, grew with two sisters and one brother Pop wasn't around, so many stories that's another I'm thinking damn, how my older sister gon' make me tougher When steel sharpens steel, I'ma keep it real I'm tired of trying to hide my pain behind the syrups and pills Dead to the world, stretched out like a corpse for real Y'all niggaz thinking what y'all reading in the source is real What my life like, you looking at the source, it's real What your life like? mine dog, of course it's real Passin judgment, you niggaz second-guessin beans Cause you don't eat swine don't make you amin Dog you know a couple suras, out the qur'an I guess you all on your deen and I ain't on mine Stop that akki, 'fore I send shots though your body Make 'em feel feel hell on earth before allah drop thee I feel the line's drawn here, nuttin more can stop me Till them feds pick me up, or them boys pop me There's only three things that make mac not act like beans Amatullah tisha, po aldin, samir amin My seeds dog, gotta teach 'em that before I leave dog Shit I know that I'ma see 'em when I leave dog I come back in the afterlife Like fuck it I done touched hell twice what's the meanin? This can't be life, this can't be love This can't be right, there's gotta be more, this can't be us This can't be life, this can't be love This can't be right, there's gotta be more, this can't be us Now as I walk into the studio, to do this with jig' I got a phone call from one of my nigs Said my homeboy reek, he just lost one of his kids And when I heard that I just broke into tears And see in the second hand you don't really know how this is But when it hits that close to home you feel the pain at the crib So I called mine, and saddened my wife with the bad news Now we both depressed, countin our blessings cause brad's two Prayin for young souls to laugh at life through the stars Lovin your kids just like you was ours And I'm hurtin for you dog, but ain't nobody pain is like yours I just know that heaven'll open these doors And ain't no bright side to losin life but you can view it like this God's got open hands homey, he in the midst, of good company Who loves all and hates not one And one day you gon' be wit your son I could've rapped about my hard times on this song But heaven knows I woulda been wrong I wouldn'ta been right, it wouldn'ta been love It wouldn'ta been life, it wouldn'ta been us This can't be life This can't be life, this can't be love This can't be right, there's gotta be more, this can't be us This can't be life, this can't be love This can't be right, there's gotta be more, this can't be us This can't be life