Hip Hop Quotables

Hi, my name's Ludacris, and I'm high as giraffe pussy And I'm close to the edge, so yo' parents can come push me I curse so much just to get on they nerves I got kids "Actin' a Fool" from the traps to the burbs My filthy mouth, it won't fight cavities or beat plaque So I shot the tooth fairy and took my old teeth back I'll take a shit on the equator, the size of a crater And make government officials breathe harder than Darth Vader It's the chicken and the beer that makes Luda keep rappin' But no pork on my fork, I don't even speak pig Latin I go fishin' on my lake, with yo' bitch as the bait Plus I eat many MC's, but I don't gain no weight The number one chief rocka, clean out yo' rap lockers I'm as stiff as a board, y'all more shook than maracas But my trick ain't for kids, if you dig 'em, you'll get smacked I'll clock ya, I'll spring forward, you fall back Every album that I drop has got more than ten bangers That's cause I'm a shot caller, y'all fools is Crank Yankers Ain't a damn thing changed but the ice on my chain To get chicks from Portland, Oregon to Portland, Maine Now I roll up torpedoes, get blunted with Rastas For a hefty fee, I'm on your record like Bob Costas I own so many jerseys I'm a throwback mess I hit the cleaners and tell 'em I want a full court press So momma toast your glass while I'm countin' my cash 'Cause every single is a smash, I'm hot as a camel's ass The competition never just want to admit that they lost And that they last about as long as my part in the wash From yo' car to a crap game, no one rolls wit' you One of Mini-Me's shoes got more sole than you So by the time you figure out why your record ain't spinnin' I'm in the strip club smokin', with President Clinton So stand clear of the long sideburns and goatee They may the mold of the penis enlarger off me I'll be in another room when I hit from the back Not to mention my refrigerator's taller than Shaq So yippie-kay-yay, yippie-yie-yie-yo If you can't swim, don't smoke my hydro I've been lookin' for a woman just to put my stamp on But a lot of y'all are mo' stuck up than tampons So wash all ya sins away and stop playin' If God's line is busy you might have to two-way him Then catch me in your backyard, playin' croquet And when I'm drunk tell them kids, "Drugs are bad, mmm'kay?" Or watch me swing my chain at the Roscoe's off Pico Got seven cars, get all my rims at Chrome Depot And people think I'm bad, they say "Oooh he's so evil!" 'Cause I go on blind dates, with actual blind people But my album's out the store, yours be on the shelf I heard you masturbate a lot, so y'all keep to yourself 'Cause these women want a man that stay up and stay strong Like the NBA, you gotta play hard or go home All that shit that y'all talkin', y'all can pop it to them 'Cause Ludacris will beat you down with a prosthetic limb I put my foot so deep in yo' ass that you can smell it And yo' breath will turn to Foot Locker water repellent I'm the man, I got money far as the eyes can see And I'm in a group, I split dough with me, me and me So much money in my jewelry that I'm damn near sorry So I'm a trade my earrings in, and get a Ferrari I buy cars with straight cash, have meetings with Donald Trump y'all meet with Honda, no payments for 12 months Take a look at yo' life and no wonder you so sad Y'all put up with more shit than a colostomy bag, fool!