Song parody of
Crusader
by Chris de Burgh
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"What do I do next?" said the bishop to the priest,
"I have spent my whole life waiting, preparing for the feast,
And now you say Jerusalem has fallen and is lost,
The king of heathen Saracen has seized the holy cross;"
Then the priest said "Oh my bishop, we must put them to the sword,
For God in all His mercy will find a just reward,
For the noblemen and sinners, and knights of ready hand,
Who will be the Lord's Crusader, send word through all the land,
Jerusalem is lost,
Jerusalem is lost,
Jerusalem is lost;"
"Tell me what to do", said the king upon his throne,
"but speak to me in whispers for we are not alone,
They tell me that Jerusalem has fallen to the hand,
Of some bedeviled eastern Heathen who has seized the Holy Land;"
Then the chamberlain said "Lord, we must call upon our foes
In Spain and France and Germany to end our bitter wars,
All Christian men must be as one and gather for the fight,
You will be their leader, begin the battle cry,
Jerusalem is lost,
Jerusalem is lost,
Jerusalem is lost"
Ooh, high on a hill, in the town of Jerusalem,
There stood Saladin, the king of the Saracens,
Whoring and drinking and snoring and sinking, around him his army lay,
Secure in the knowledge that he had won the day;
A messenger came, blood on his feet and a wound in his chest,
"The Christians are coming!" he said, "I have seen their cross in the west,"
In a rage Saladin struck him down with his knife,
And he said "I know that this man lies,
They quarrel too much, the Christians could never unite!
I am invincible, I am the king,
I am invincible, and I will win..."
Closer they came, the army of Richard the Lionheart,
Marching by day and night, with soldiers from every part,
And when the Crusaders came over the mountain and they saw Jerusalem,
They fell to their knees and prayed for her release;
They started the battle at dawn, taking the city by storm,
With horsemen and bowmen and engines of war,
They broke through the city walls,
The Heathens were flying and screaming and dying,
And the Christian swords were strong,
And Saladin ran when he heard their victory song;
"We are invincible, God is the king,
We are invincible, and we will win!"
"What do I do now?" said the wise man to the fool,
"I have spent my whole life searching, to find the Golden Rule,
Though centuries have disappeared, the memory still remains,
Of those enemies together, could it be that way again?"
Then the fool said "Oh you wise men, you really make me laugh,
With your talk of vast persuasion and searching through the past,
There is only greed and evil in the men who fight today,
The song of the Crusader has long since gone away,
Jerusalem is lost,
Jerusalem is lost,
Jerusalem is lost
Jerusalem."
"What do I do next?" said the bishop to the priest,
"I have spent my whole life waiting, preparing for the feast,
And now you say Jerusalem has fallen and is lost,
The king of heathen Saracen has seized the holy cross;"
Then the priest said "Oh my bishop, we must put them to the sword,
For God in all His mercy will find a just reward,
For the noblemen and sinners, and knights of ready hand,
Who will be the Lord's Crusader, send word through all the land,
Jerusalem is lost,
Jerusalem is lost,
Jerusalem is lost;"
"Tell me what to do", said the king upon his throne,
"but speak to me in whispers for we are not alone,
They tell me that Jerusalem has fallen to the hand,
Of some bedeviled eastern Heathen who has seized the Holy Land;"
Then the chamberlain said "Lord, we must call upon our foes
In Spain and France and Germany to end our bitter wars,
All Christian men must be as one and gather for the fight,
You will be their leader, begin the battle cry,
Jerusalem is lost,
Jerusalem is lost,
Jerusalem is lost"
Ooh, high on a hill, in the town of Jerusalem,
There stood Saladin, the king of the Saracens,
Whoring and drinking and snoring and sinking, around him his army lay,
Secure in the knowledge that he had won the day;
A messenger came, blood on his feet and a wound in his chest,
"The Christians are coming!" he said, "I have seen their cross in the west,"
In a rage Saladin struck him down with his knife,
And he said "I know that this man lies,
They quarrel too much, the Christians could never unite!
I am invincible, I am the king,
I am invincible, and I will win..."
Closer they came, the army of Richard the Lionheart,
Marching by day and night, with soldiers from every part,
And when the Crusaders came over the mountain and they saw Jerusalem,
They fell to their knees and prayed for her release;
They started the battle at dawn, taking the city by storm,
With horsemen and bowmen and engines of war,
They broke through the city walls,
The Heathens were flying and screaming and dying,
And the Christian swords were strong,
And Saladin ran when he heard their victory song;
"We are invincible, God is the king,
We are invincible, and we will win!"
"What do I do now?" said the wise man to the fool,
"I have spent my whole life searching, to find the Golden Rule,
Though centuries have disappeared, the memory still remains,
Of those enemies together, could it be that way again?"
Then the fool said "Oh you wise men, you really make me laugh,
With your talk of vast persuasion and searching through the past,
There is only greed and evil in the men who fight today,
The song of the Crusader has long since gone away,
Jerusalem is lost,
Jerusalem is lost,
Jerusalem is lost
Jerusalem."
