Song parody of
Makin' the Best of a Bad Situation
by Ray Stevens
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Now, I know a man
He's a hard workin' man
He gets up real early, and he goes down town
And about fifteen minutes after he's been gone
There's a big milk truck pulls up on the lawn
And that milkman rushes up to the door
Where that man's wife is waitin' in a kimona
And she plants a big ol' kiss on his cheek and they go inside
And that truck never moves for an hour or two
Well it's none of my business
One day I called him aside and told him what was goin' on
While he was gone
And he said, "Well I guess that's so, but do you know
We're never outta' milk or cottage cheese or yogurt,
Ice cream, or none of them other cowy things"
I guess he's makin' the best of a bad situation
Don't wanta make waves, can't you see
He's just makin' the best of a bad situation
Reckon I'd do the same if it was me
Now I know a man, he's an educated man, he's an alligator wrestler
He jumps right in there and grabs them long green boogers by whatever you grab them long green boogers by
Well, one day he's got a full Nelson on this big alligator
When this other alligator sneaks up and bites his right ear plumb off
Didn't bat an eye just crawled off in the shade and went to sleep
The alligator not the man
Well, it's none of my business
One day I said, "Well, it's sure too bad about that little accident that you had
'Cause now your hat's gonna fall down over your eyes
And you can't ever be gypsy 'cause you don't have no place to wear a gold earring"
He just looked me right straight in the eye and said,
"Huh?"
I guess he's makin' the best of a bad situation
Don't wanna make waves, can't you see
He's just makin' the best of a bad situation
Reckon I'd do the same if it was me
Now I know a lady, she's a mighty fine lady
Got a heart of gold, she wouldn't hurt a fly
She's just tryin' to get by and keep her house in order
But you know that her husband, he worked so hard that he come unglued
He come unwrapped, he just snapped, thinks he's a chicken
That's right, one of them cackling Colonel Sanders' types
He roosts in the bush by the side of the house
Well it's none of my business but one day I said
"Have you ever thought about findin' him a doctor who could make him well"
And she said "Well, I have now and then, but then again
He don't eat much just chickenfeed and all that peckin' in the ground don't hurt nothin'
Heaven knows, we can use the eggs"
I guess she's makin' the best of a bad situation
Don't wanna make waves, can't you see
She's just makin' the best of a bad situation
Reckon I'd do the same if it was me
We're all just makin' the best of a bad situation
We're all in this together you and me
Now, I know a man
He's a hard workin' man
He gets up real early, and he goes down town
And about fifteen minutes after he's been gone
There's a big milk truck pulls up on the lawn
And that milkman rushes up to the door
Where that man's wife is waitin' in a kimona
And she plants a big ol' kiss on his cheek and they go inside
And that truck never moves for an hour or two
Well it's none of my business
One day I called him aside and told him what was goin' on
While he was gone
And he said, "Well I guess that's so, but do you know
We're never outta' milk or cottage cheese or yogurt,
Ice cream, or none of them other cowy things"
I guess he's makin' the best of a bad situation
Don't wanta make waves, can't you see
He's just makin' the best of a bad situation
Reckon I'd do the same if it was me
Now I know a man, he's an educated man, he's an alligator wrestler
He jumps right in there and grabs them long green boogers by whatever you grab them long green boogers by
Well, one day he's got a full Nelson on this big alligator
When this other alligator sneaks up and bites his right ear plumb off
Didn't bat an eye just crawled off in the shade and went to sleep
The alligator not the man
Well, it's none of my business
One day I said, "Well, it's sure too bad about that little accident that you had
'Cause now your hat's gonna fall down over your eyes
And you can't ever be gypsy 'cause you don't have no place to wear a gold earring"
He just looked me right straight in the eye and said,
"Huh?"
I guess he's makin' the best of a bad situation
Don't wanna make waves, can't you see
He's just makin' the best of a bad situation
Reckon I'd do the same if it was me
Now I know a lady, she's a mighty fine lady
Got a heart of gold, she wouldn't hurt a fly
She's just tryin' to get by and keep her house in order
But you know that her husband, he worked so hard that he come unglued
He come unwrapped, he just snapped, thinks he's a chicken
That's right, one of them cackling Colonel Sanders' types
He roosts in the bush by the side of the house
Well it's none of my business but one day I said
"Have you ever thought about findin' him a doctor who could make him well"
And she said "Well, I have now and then, but then again
He don't eat much just chickenfeed and all that peckin' in the ground don't hurt nothin'
Heaven knows, we can use the eggs"
I guess she's makin' the best of a bad situation
Don't wanna make waves, can't you see
She's just makin' the best of a bad situation
Reckon I'd do the same if it was me
We're all just makin' the best of a bad situation
We're all in this together you and me
