7 Old Ladies
Ron and the Rude Boys
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Oh dear, what can the matter be ? Seven old ladies were locked in the lavatory, They were there from Monday t'ill Saturday, And nobody knew they were there. The first was the wife of the deacon of Dover, She was known as a bit of a rover, She went to relieve a slight pressure of water, And nobody knew she was there. The second old lady was old Mrs Bickle, Her urge was sincere, her reaction was fickle, She hurdled the door, she'd forgotten her nickel, And nobody knew she was there. The third old lady was Hildegard Foyle, She hadn't been living according to Hoyle, ŠWas relieved when the swelling was only a boil, And nobody knew she was there. The fifth old lady was Abigail Humphrey, Who settled inside to make herself comfy, And then she found she could not get her bum free, And nobody knew she was there. The sixth old lady was Emily Clancy, She went there 'cause something tickled her fancy, But when she got there it was ants in her pantsy, And nobody knew she was there. The seventh old lady was Elizabeth Spender, She went there to repair a suspender, It snapped up and ruined her feminine gender, And nobody knew she was there. The janitor came in the early one morning, He opened the door without any warning, The seven old ladies their seats were adorning, And nobody knew they were there.
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